Internet Service has posted these 10 Facebook statuses of a new vampire. Supposedly all these happen before the newly-damned troll Robert Pattinson message boards.
- Well that’s the last time I date anyone I meet online. Creepy, pasty-faced loser freaked out on me when I ordered the garlic shrimp. I told him to bite me. Funny, I don’t remember much after that.
- Got tagged in a photo, but no one can see me in it. WTF? – One day your friends are posting comments about your Halloween pic, and the next …well, you’re just not there anymore.
- A like, and a link, to my favorite cause: the American Red Cross Blood Drive. – Suddenly, you’re a fan of stocking up on that red stuff. You used to faint at the sight of a needle. Go figure.
- Dentist appointment this morning for my monthly cleaning. I think I might need crowns … and sunglasses. Anyone know a good 24-hour dental clinic? Good news from my doctor. Blood pressure is excellent and iron levels are up. Yay me!
- My ex gave me a gift membership to Express Tan for my birthday. What a d-bag. – Some people just have no sympathy for your delicate condition. Man, what a Christmas party last night. I must be getting old. Can’t handle that kind of drinking anymore. One Coors Light Silver Bullet, and it was lights out for me.
- On the plus side, I guess I was rockin’ some serious beer muscles before I passed out. Friends tell me I tossed a sofa into the swimming pool – with four people sitting on it. RAWR!
- Twilight marathon and sleepover at my place tonight at 8. BYOB, for all you AB negative types.
- Switching to the graveyard shift. I figure I can be more productive that time of day, and really sink my teeth into my work.