'Haven' recap: 'Double Jeopardy'

Callahan has girl talk with Audrey, courtesy Syfy
BY ERIN LILLEY

Welcome to Haven, where the population keeps decreasing, and there's a possible Franken-Audrey in the works! It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood!

The Trouble

A guy who could not look more suspicious if he tried uses a hidden camera to get some up-skirt shots at a pep rally. As he starts to upload the footage onto his computer, an unseen attacker jumps him from behind, spilling the creeper's blood all over his barely touched Peanut Buster Parfait (which only moments earlier I'd been coveting hard, since my local Dairy Queen closed in the 1990s. Now ... he can keep it, thanks).


Meanwhile, at the Haven courthouse, Duke talks his way out of a score of unpaid parking tickets, in exchange for paying five grand for a liquor license for his bar, the Gray Gull. As he walks back to his car, Duke spots a beautiful girl standing by the jeep--a beautiful girl, holding the knife that just slit all of his tires, and is about to seriously mess up his paint job. He turns to yell for help, and by the time he and Tommy (who just happened to be walking by) turn around, she's disappeared, leaving Duke looking crazy, and Tommy highly amused.

Back at Dairy Creep's apartment, Nathan's figured out our victim's name is Jason Dooley, and Audrey explains that the attacker took the vic's eyes out with a spoon. Nathan tells Audrey that Jason makes a living posting up-skirt videos to the internet, but knows how to work the system to keep from being convicted. Nathan then gets word that Jason's alive and stable, so he can be questioned. Unfortunately, Jason didn't get to see anything before losing his eyes. He also doesn't have any idea how the attacker made it past all of his locked deadbolts or untripped alarm. A still from Jason's security system shows the figure of a woman.

At the Gray Gull, Duke closes up shop, only to see the "hot, kind of mental" woman at the door. He shuts and locks the door, but she reappears behind him, inside the building. What, is she a ghost? How'd she do that? Suddenly, she tosses Duke across the room and begins to trash the joint while he hides and calls the cops. On cue, a belligerent drunk shows up demanding a drink, and Duke inadvertently hits him trying to shut him up. The drunk guy presses charges for assault, and Tommy throws Duke in jail for the evening. They're filling out paperwork when Nathan and Audrey arrive for work the next morning. Duke's court date is set for the next afternoon, with the same Judge Boon he appeared before only a day earlier.

Duke relates the story to Nathan and Audrey, expecting them to think he's nuts, and is surprised when they ask him if the ghost lady was wearing a white dress. Is she troubled? Is Duke being targeted? Nathan gets a text about another possible victim, Meagan Berlin, who was attacked while being held in custody for suspicion of shaking her six month-old baby. Meagan's bones were shattered, as if she'd fallen from a great height. So, we have a peeper lose his eyes, a suspected child abuser with broken bones, and Duke, with unpaid parking tickets, a questionable liquor license, and a vandalized car and trashed bar. The trio put two and two together and realize that their most-likely troubled ghost lady is acting as judge, jury, and executioner for people she suspects of wrong-doing, making the punishment fit the crime. This, understandably, makes Duke nervous, since he just killed a guy two episodes ago. Audrey tells Duke he's staying with her that night, for his own protection. Nathan tells Duke he's actually being used as bait.

At Audrey's apartment, the ghost lady suddenly appears and begins to attack Duke. Audrey, armed with a gun, and Duke, armed with a knife, fight back. Unfortunately for the two, when Duke stabs the ghost lady, she doesn't bleed. Then, when Audrey shoots her, ghost lady crumbles into a pile of clay pieces. Seriously, what is this chick's deal? While the two examine the remains, ghost lady reappears for a few more punches at Duke, then vanishes.

At the station, Audrey notices that the victims' crimes were all listed on the police blotter, and tells Nathan that she thinks the ghost lady is a vigilante out to punish those she assumes are guilty. She meets with Duke at the courthouse, and they notice that the composite sketch of the ghost lady exactly matches the figure of Lady Justice in a mural inside the courtroom.

Audrey and Duke head over to the newspaper to ask the Bros. Teague if they have any information on the model for the mural. Audrey points out that troubles run in families, so if they could pinpoint the model, they might be able to trace the lineage to their troubled person. The Teagues hate to put a damper on her theory, but there never was a model. The artist created the figure off of what he felt was the feminine ideal. Duke scoffs at the idea that there's no troubled person, since he was attacked by a "Terminator made out of plaster". Upon hearing this, the Teagues become nervous, and relate to Audrey and Duke the (Haven-ized) mythology of the Golem, where an indestructible clay being can be brought to life to do the bidding of its master--a severely troubled person--and there's no way to kill it. Audrey wants to find the master, hoping she can convince them to call off Lady Justice.

At the Station, Audrey notices that all of the victims had court dates with Judge Boon. Nathan is already at the courthouse, having the judge sign a prison transfer. During the conversation, the judge asks for a bribe and also talks about how rules were made to be broken. All in all, not being all that "honorable", if you catch my drift. Once he leaves, Nathan gets a call from Audrey about the judge's possible trouble, but when Nathan goes back to the courthouse, he finds the judge dead and the painting empty.

Audrey and Nathan narrow down the list of possible troubled people to the judge's coworkers. Nathan leaves, and Audrey and Duke, deduce the troubled person is Lynette, the court reporter. They confront her, and she doesn't believe them. Duke finally loses it, and confesses to murder to provoke Lynette into conjuring the Golem. Lady Justice holds a sword to Duke's throat, but Audrey points out that the one murder saved hundreds of lives, and that Duke is a good man. Lynette realizes that she's been judging people unfairly. She feels she, herself, should be punished, and Lady Justice does so by banishing Lynette to the mural in the courtroom, where she will forever be witness to her own nightmare: Justice not always at work.

The Colorado Kid

Audrey's having trouble remembering the Colorado Kid, so Claire suggests she make a composite sketch. While working on it, Audrey receives notice from the feds that another woman was killed by a bolt gun, and the victim's chin was cut off. Is the killer making his own composite...with actual body parts?

The Town Gossip

Nathan tells Audrey about Jordan being his contact with the Guard. Jordan tricks Nathan into letting an imprisoned Guard member escape during a prison transfer, and when he realizes what's going on, he allows the prisoner to get away. In the process, he saves Jordan from being shot by an injured officer. The officer was hurt by Jordan's pain trouble, but she felt really bad about it, if that helps. I have to say, if I had the ability to cause unimaginable pain, just by touching someone, I'd wear long sleeves along with those kickin' gloves.

To hide the botched prison transfer, Nathan steals an APB off the fax machine. He then goes by the Gun and Rose to confront Jordan. He learns that she was trying to save the troubled prisoner from accidentally setting the prison on fire with his dreams (now, that's a trouble!), and kisses her.

Audrey and Duke have a heart to heart about her imminent departure, past lives, and fate. Duke says the one good thing about the troubles is that he got to meet Audrey Parker.

Next Week: It's a haunted house, Friday, 9 p.m.