Monday, August 5, 2013

'True Blood' recap: 'Dead Meat'


Eric seems pretty irritated with Bill. It’s mostly because of Nora’s death, but it’s also because Bill is kind of a prick. Eric thinks that Bill should have been able to foretell Nora’s demise and be able to fetch Warlow to save her. Since Eric is incensed, he tries to pick a fight with Bill about Sookie. Bill takes it a little too far when he brings up Godric.

Danielle has the scariest voice in the pack. The pack is still trying to call out Alcide for his big, fat lie about Nicole being dead. It looks like the werebitches are going to challenge Alcide’s role as pack master. He takes on all three werebitches, but doesn’t kill any of them. Rikki is right about Alcide being too much of a pus … hover to kill anyone.

Jason lets Violet know about his history with Sarah. She lets him ramble for a while, but quickly lets him know that he belongs to her. He seems disappointed to find out that this ownership lasts even after prison (if there’s even an after prison).

Sookie comes back to Fairy Land and tells Warlow about Bill’s day walking capabilities. Warlow is still harping about her marrying him and becoming his vampire bride, but she doesn’t seem that interested. The only way that he’ll help out the vampires is if she turns into a vampire and marries him. Yikes. Peace out, homie.

Sookie goes to see Bill and tells him about Warlow’s ultimatum. He doesn’t seem that concerned about her well-being. He tells her to take the deal.

Jessica seems to be in love with James after her dumb decision to tell him about the contaminated Tru Blood. The guards shuffle them back to their own respective general populations before they can bang again. James cannot contain the secret and tells STEVE NEWLIN about the contaminated blood. He probably should have just announced it over a megaphone. When Sarah confronts Steve about why he isn’t drinking the Tru Blood, he spills the beans immediately.

It’s depressing watching Sam clean out Terry’s sad little cubby at Merlotte’s. Alcide comes slinking back to tell Sam that Nicole and her mother were kidnapped but are now deposited in Sam’s trailer. Sam doesn’t seem that torn up about Nicole seeing as how he invites Alcide to share beer with him.

No hard feelings, I suppose.

Alcide opts for the whiskey instead of the beer. I can’t say I blame him. He is quite the strapping beast. Alcide and Sam catch a whiff of Nicole, and she is apparently carrying Sam’s puppy. Sam, err Silver Fox (ha!) is “in love” with Nicole and begs her to stay. He conveniently leaves out the bit about her being pregnant.

Sookie shows up in the midst of the Nicole-Sam love fest and confesses to Sam that she thought that they would end up together. Sam shoots her down and divulges that Nicole is pregnant so Sookie scuttles on pretty quickly. This interaction seems to have sealed Sookie’s decision.

LaLa breaks the news to Arlene about Terry’s $2 million dollar life insurance policy. She could be a little happier about the money, but instead she is pissed at the fairy kids about picking Terry’s brain. A-B-C-D reads Arlene’s thoughts and gets her feelings hurt. She’s sensitive. She’s a whole two weeks old.

When Arlene gets to the funeral home, she wants to fistfight the Bellfleurs about Terry’s military funeral. She doesn’t want any part of the $2 mil insurance money or their funeral plans. Andy’s a good guy and goes outside to calm her down and find out what she really wants to happen at Terry’s funeral. He also convinces her to leave the whole “Terry assassination” theory alone.

By the time Sookie leaves Sam, she seems to have made her decision for Warlow. She makes a pit stop at her parent’s graves to tell them that she’d rather be a vampire than have to lie next to them for all of eternity. She calls Jason, but obviously the call goes to voicemail. Then, she makes an ominous call to Bill.

Ms. Suzuki shows up at the Camp Truman looking for the Governor. Since he has no head (or body depending on how you look at it), Sarah Newlin shows us her TRULY evil side by trying to kill her. As I watched Sarah chase Ms. Suzuki around Camp Truman, I wondered why neither one of them removed their heels. It becomes abundantly clear that detail was intentional as Suzuki twists her ankle after her heel gets caught in the grating. Sarah jumps (literally) on this opportunity to kill her by driving Suzuki’s own heel into her head. The male vamps love the blood that is dripping down.

Andy’s salty two-week old fairy child is about to knock the boots when Eric shows up, glamors the boys she was drinking with, and starts feeding on her. Good grief. He doesn’t kill her like Jessica killed her sisters because, presumably, he has a lot more control than Jessica.

When Sookie and Bill roll up on Warlow, he’s all bloody and messed up. Who did this? Duh, Eric, of course.

From the previews, the last couple of episodes look pretty juicy!

Smaller Bites:

  • Did you guys love Sookie’s angel nightshirt?
  • Pam, really? Banging that guy? GROSS.
  • Poor Jason begs Violet not to rape him. I’m not sure how this ordeal is going to pan out.
  • Andy is such a trip. “I’m trying to decide if it’s going to be more uncomfortable for me out there or in here…I’m going to go out there.”
  • How come Sookie’s mom’s headstone is so much bigger than her dad’s?
  • Is Sookie FINALLY going to become a vampire, or are they just taunting us?
  • Do you think Eric’s tactics of drinking Warlow’s blood is going to help out the vampires that are trapped in the dungeon that Bill has been dreaming about? Or do you think that Sarah is going to (day)light them up and kill them all?

The next episode of True Blood, "Life Matters," airs next Sunday at 9 p.m.