Tuesday, March 18, 2014

'Being Human' Recap: 'Oh Don't You Die For Me'

Courtesy Syfy
BY DAWN FEAKES

Things have been set right but Sally is burdened by the knowledge of Josh's future and longing for the love she shared with Aidan in the past. Let's do this.

Josh takes a meeting in the woods with Andrew and Alpha Mark to clear the air and start fresh. When an offered handshake doesn't work, he does the next best thing: strips down and turns in front of them. A little wolfy flexing as it were. While Josh is trying to win over the popular kids, Suzanna wants Aidan to hit Boston where it hurts: the removal of Kenny. If Aidan does this, Suzanna will know that he's serious about going straight. If you look up the word "Aidan" in the dictionary, I'm pretty sure the definition will be "easily manipulated by women."

Sally is having a rough day; Josh is resigned to Nora moving out as his reality is that his wife is terrified of him and if that wasn't enough, Aidan walks the halls in a towel reminding her of what once was and can never be. If only she can find a way to make him remember. As part of Josh's new reality, while visiting Andrew and Caroline in their spiffy new, isolated house, Alpha Mark shows up extremely happy to see Josh. Why? Well, due to his amazing anytime wolf powers, Josh is the new Alpha. (Im'ma just take a moment here to say: 'Called it!') (Okay, 1 for 4 so far but batting .250 is close to Hall of Fame numbers so....) Mark is being surprisingly cool about stepping down for Josh but seeing as Josh could rip him apart any time, it might be for the best.

Suzanna continues to hound Aidan about the need to kill Kenny and gives him a super special cross-stake that he is easily able to hide in his jacket. I really need one of these to go with my incredible new work pants because pockets!

Mark and Josh hang out waiting for the moon. He's looking forward to this turn as this is the most comfortable he's felt in a long time. Mark reassures Josh that everyone there gets him. But it's weird not turning with Nora though there won't be any temptation this time; Wendy's not there either. Mark continues to be real chill about the wolf-mating and promises the blowup won't happen again; he knows that Josh is a special kind of wolf and Wendy responded to the pheromones. No big deal. Pheromones, ladies. Amirite? There are a lot of people in the house and not all are wolves. They want for Josh to make more super wolves? Oh hell no.

Commercials! Go see Amazing Spider-Man 2 as times are so tough, he had to take a job with the postal service delivering packages.

Aidan smirks his way into the vamp lair to see Kenny and follow Suzanna's orders. Kenny is very proud, the vampire repopulation effort is going well and the new vampires are willing converts. He's opened a few new blood dens and other cities are asking for his advice/services to rebuild as well. (Baltimore, holla!). According to Aidan, he's starting to sound like Bishop and this might make it easier to kill him. He makes the decision to take Kenny out when Astrid the wolf-girlfriend shows up. She's heading out to pack bonding time but just stopped by to see him. They are really cute together and I fear for their relationship. Aidan decides not to kill Kenny but leaves him with a question: he could do his super vamp whammy anywhere so why stay in Boston? Is he doing this for Astrid or himself?

Sally and Nora have some girl bonding time in the bathroom and Sally finally starts to talk about the past: Nora was like a hard core Nurse Jackie with the pain pills, Josh had a pie shop, Sally left Danny, became a werewolf and fell in love with Aidan which was the greatest thing ever until Ray killed her making her a ghost again. Okay girl, spill it. Need the deets of the sheets.

Josh flips out at the implications of the humans being there and Caroline confesses it was her idea. All of the humans chose to be there to become werewolves. They need Josh to turn before the full moon, scratch the acolytes and grow the pack as he's the only one who could limit it to a scratch. Knowing how much Josh loathes being a werewolf, this is sure to go over well. And naturally, he refuses to be a part of this madness when Mark tases him. Ah, crap. Back to 0 for the season.

Commercials! Baby-faced Scythe in "Helix" gave me worse nightmares than anything I've seen in "The Walking Dead." Just let that sink in a moment.

Josh wakes up naked in a cage. Well that was considerate; at least he won't destroy his clothes. Andrew tries to convince him that being a wolf is great but the reality is, they need more wolves to counter the growing vampire army and can't continue to leave it to chance. With as much dignity as one can muster naked in a cage, Josh refuses again. You guys, he's not a party trick. Mark is going to force the change; don't tase him bro! Mark doesn't listen to me and the pain forces the change on Josh. The rest of the pack comes to witness the miracle.

Aidan goes to see Suzanna and tells her that he can't kill Kenny; he is Aidan's son. He promised to protect Kenny and won't go back on his word. Suzanna gives him two months to fix this, after that, he'll never see her coming. Still without a clue, Aidan goes to Sally for advice on his love life. Suzanna is leaving and he can't lose her again. Sally tells him to get real, that Suzanna could never tolerate Aidan day to day. The best person for him knows him, knows he slips up and when he does, helps him get back up and back on track but also knows he'll always keep trying. Suzanna would just punish him. What she's clearly saying is 'Hey! Dumbass! It's me you want!'  Declarations of love will have to wait as Astrid shows up with the news that the wolves kidnapped Josh.

Commercials! Next on "Face Off" is the wonderful world of Willy Wonka but all I can think of are Oompa Loompas.

Business is booming at Stapp and Sons as the bodies keep coming in. Except this time Suzanna smuggles herself into the lair in a body bag. Looks like someone doesn't trust Aidan. What's her game? Kenny wasn't expecting a shipment today and definitely wasn't expecting to find sand on the floor when Suzanna attacks him with...a needle?

Nora and Aidan hide in the woods surrounding Wolf Central while Sally does some recon. He's in a cage in the basement. Is he okay? He's in a cage in the basement...what do you think? Aidan and Nora bust an exhausted Josh gets out of the cage just in time for the pack to arrive. Nora, just get your man out of there; Aidan's got this. Well, Aidan and Sally because if there is one thing that Sally never does, it's listen. Aidan's good but there are just too many wolves and he gets pinned. Just as Mark improvises a stake, Sally jumps into Andrew. Boom! One down. Oh son, you do not want to piss off the ghost witch. She jumps into Plaid Boy. Pow! Two down. They tag-team Mark next. Wham! One left. I think Aidan can handle this one by himself Sally. No, this is for her. She jumps into the black guy and by jove, makes him remember. By kissing him. In the black man's body. Sometimes you just have to use the tools available to you. Well, he did tell her to make him remember. Okay, so she listens 10% of the time.

Commercials! Will someone just please buy a damn Subaru so they'll stop with the commercials?

Aidan's still a little weirded out by what happened but reassures her it was a great kiss. He gets a text from Kenny and Aidan, you never check messages when talking relationship stuff with a female, I don't care how old you are. He arrives at Vamp Headquarters to find Suzanna standing over an unconscious Kenny. He has to die, he's not Aidan's real son. That sound you heard? Was Suzanna's sanity finally snapping. Aidan has to kill Kenny as she killed Isaac. And that's the crux of it. She's never forgiven herself for Isaac and now every vampire must pay. Aidan forgives her but fails to realize that you can't reason with crazy *coughLizziecough* and that sends her over the edge. In the end, Aidan chooses his son over his wife and stakes her, finally granting her peace and himself more than 70 mls of blood a day.

Commercials! Eating ten Tic Tacs at once is a bad idea and we'll just leave it at that.

Aidan stumbles back home to find Josh upstairs sleeping and Sally passed out on the couch looking pretty deathly. Man, when Aidan goes all in, he goes all in. Sally has to be okay, she just has to as Aidan can't deal. Why would she possess wolves knowing what it does to her? Well, see Aidan, when a girl loves a boy, she'll do really stupid things for him and didn't we have this discussion a couple of weeks ago? Nora spells it out for him: she's in love with you. And the lightbulb finally clicks on. Sally wakes up lying in a pink bed in a little girl's room. We know this because of the dolls scattered on the floor and the horrific red paisley wallpaper. It's.. the same room where she saw the little girl sacrificed in the past.

There are only three more episodes left so join us next Monday for "Being Human" at 9 p.m. ET on Syfy.

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