Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Celebrity Cephalopod & paranormal pop star Paul the Octopus retires

We try not to spend a lot of time talking about sports stars here since they receive so much attention elsewhere, but it is with a heavy heart we announce Paul the Psychic Octopus is retiring.

Paul, of course, is the celebrity cephalopod mollusk and paranormal pop culture sensation who accurately predicted the outcome of eight World Cup matches - that's one for each of his little legs - and in the process, became a star and suction-cupped his way into our hearts. Now, he's going out on top.

During the World Cup, Paul was offered "two mussel-filled acrylic boxes labeled with a team's flag were lowered into his tank. Whichever box he chose conveyed the winning team."

Now the Associated Press, CNN and every media outlet that matters, says the two-year-old Paul, who was born in England and lives at the Oberhausen Sea Life Center in Germany, will be hanging up his prediction hat (which we're guessing is a cute, cartoony fedora) to enjoy the rest of his days.

Of course, once the fame bug bites, it's hard to escape it. Plus, Paul is an international star, so offers will be pouring in to bring him out of retirement. However, in a statement to the press, Sea Life says all offers "will be carefully vetted in the coming days to see if there are opportunities to spread Paul's fame even further."

The Sea Life Center is also considering opening a psychic octopus school "so that Paul has the opportunity to pass on some of his skills to younger cousins before his short but memorable life reaches its natural conclusion."

Paul's spokesman Mark Oakley say the superstar deserves a  quiet retirement as "the most famous sea creature there has ever been."

Was Paul truly psychic? Was his gift paranormal? The world may never know, but one thing is certain: The true power of Paul the Psychic Octopus was to accurately predict our capacity for love.

That deserves a high-eight from us.


Anonymous said...

Paul need a reality TV show! Psychic Cephalopods

Anonymous said...

Paul need a reality TV show! Psychic Cephalopods