Monday, September 1, 2014

'The Strain' Recap: 'Creatures of the Night'

Courtesy FX

Last week on "The Strain," the grand plan to use Eichhorst to lead Team Abe back to The Master went awry - though I'm still not sure how killing Eichhorst was supposed to accomplish that but no matter. Let's do this.

You missed? What do you mean you missed?! Sorry but these older vampires are harder to kill; sunlight is the best defense. Well, it's night time now so NYC is a walking buffet unless we can simulate the sun. To the nearest medical supply store! What? Someone got there first for the UV lights? That someone is Vasily and I must say he handles his piece as well as he handles rats. Dude, what are you going to do with 12 lamps? Um, probably the same thing you are Eph. Well, I'll give you three. Nah, we'll take six. Okay done. Vasily, you are a terrible negotiator.

And now we need nibbles so off to the Quickie-Mart we go. Oddly, Jim's credit card is declined but that could be because all the machines are down. Thanks Dutch, the super-hacker chick who just happens to be in the store as well. Vasily tells Abe to stay off the subway as that's where they are. Oh, you mean the vampires? What? They aren't vampires, no fangs. Vasily dear, you're about to find out how very wrong you are as Abe takes out a vamp. That crazy old man has a bloody sword! Honey, that crazy old man with a bloody sword is about to save your useless blonde ass. Vasily jumps into the fight but it's a losing battle until Jim actually does something useful and plugs in the UV lights to drive the vamps back so Abe and Vasily can retreat but appears to have been hit by a tongue. Okay, stop me if you've heard this one before: three CDC agents, a concentration camp survivor, an exterminator and a hacker walk into a convenience store....

Jim, you're cut, are you okay? It's just a flesh wound...except when it's not. Just go clean your face well. All right folks, what's the plan? They are calling for reinforcements as they are all connected to The Master and we won't last another hour, let alone til morning. So sunlight's not an option; how else can we kills them? Sever the spinal cord. Great idea except Abe, you've got the only sword. That does pose a bit of a problem. Okay, Plan B. What is that? No idea. No random brunette girl, don't run! And they didn't attack her because they are here for Team Abe. At least it can't get worse. Uh, Jim's face is moving. It's worse. Get me hydrogen peroxide, gloves, tweezers and a fifth of whiskey; we're going in! Yeah, good luck with that Eph.

Abe's like, will you listen to me? Nope, we're going in, now, Jim, this might sting a bit. Meanwhile, Vasily is changing a tired in the attached garage where Dutch thanks him for saving her life and soul. Back off blondie, he's mine. Suddenly, the glass is broken. They've breached the walls! And climbing power lines to knock out the power. Hope those UV lights have charged enough because Abe is not a very good shot. Damn but The Master has a great WiFi connection with his minions.

While you were playing outside Abe, Vas has been defending the garage. Mr. Fet, you know the sewers, what do you suggest? Let's lock and load...up on supplies. Okay everyone ready? While Jim profusely thanks Eph and Nora for saving him even though he kind of helped this whole shit-storm go down, they notice more movement. Oh, you've got to be kidding me! I don't want to become one of them, you have to kill me. Eph can't do it. We can save you. Abe tries to reason with him that no, Eph, you can't. Yes I can! He's my friend. No, you can't. Will someone please kill me?! Okay, Vasily will do it. Bye Jim. What did you do? I shot him. Duh. Leave 'em Vas; they aren't worth your talents. At this point Abe and Vasily really just need to leave the dead weight behind. Uh, guys? Incoming. Get the lamps and Go! Go! Go! Hey, anyone have a credit card? Vasily has an idea. Eph hands his over and because Vas is a bad boy, he goes for the premium. Hey, you know what's flammable? Alcohol...and gasoline. To the getaway bread truck!

Tune in next Sunday, September 7 at 10 p.m. ET on FX for "The Disappeared."
Eph races to safeguard his family, only to learn that Kelly is missing. Dutch reveals her role in Palmer’s plan, and Gus is forced to make a difficult decision about Felix.