Monday, July 8, 2013

'True Blood' recap: 'At Last'

BY DENISE PURVIS

Jason was knocked out at Sookie’s house at the end of last week’s episode. She mentioned that she needed vampire blood…no worries, “fairy” Ben is a vampire.

Fairy Grandpa meets Nora outside of the Swat carnage. She tells him that there has been a mistranslation of the vampire bible and only Warlow can save the vampires from Lillith. All is well until she tries to take a bite out of Grandpa. BAD NORA! Well, she was caught by LAATF for violating curfew.

The Governor is an angry little man. He bursts into Ginger’s house to try to discover where all the vampires are hidden and have taken Willa. Ginger’s is taken away to Camp Truman.

Andy’s fairy kids harass Terry. They’ve grown more, and they’re pre-teens now? I guess next week they’ll be 22. Hey, I don’t know about you, but I am feeling 22. Psych! they turned into teenagers in this episode alone. They were very excited about their large boobs.

Insert obligatory shirtless Jason shot here. Sookie puts two and two together and figures out that Ben is a vampire. That explains the blood on the floor and Jason’s excessive workouts post head trauma.

You can tell the girls are like 2-year-olds in 18-year-olds’ bodies. They have enough sense to be scared of Jessica, but they still end up going with Jessica and Bill after she glamours the gas station clerk. Nameless sister number 1 (or 2 or 3 or 4) gives Bill some of her blood because she thinks it’s foreplay. I feel sad for her naivete.

The Governor’s daughter decides to help out Eric by letting him turn her into her a vampire. Vampire Willa! She was hoping for a little more from Eric, but really he just wants to use her as a pawn against her dad. Speaking of naïve.

Jason and Grandpa go over to Ben’s house to kill him because they’re convinced he’s Warlow. It does not end well and Grandpa winds up near-dead and in a portal. Ben, er …Warlow, glamours Jason into forgetting the whole situation.

Bill hold’s Andy’s nameless kids captive in an effort to get their blood synthesized. The problem is that fairy blood starts disintegrating as soon as it’s taken out of the host’s body. The doctor does not want to work under conditions where the Bill has prisoners, but Bill can be pretty convincing.

The Governor seems pretty disgusted by his vampire daughter. Then again it could be her dirty, bloody nightgown. She can’t control herself and tries to take a chunk out of daddy. Daddy’s girlfriend takes a shot at Willa and tells him that Willa is going to have to go to Camp Truman.

Sookie serves up some fried chicken and colloidal silver to Ben/Warlow. She creepily asks him what he wants from her. Unfortunately, I don’t think that the silver has much of an impact on Warlow/Ben/whomever.

The nameless fairy children try to bombard Jessica and get out of Bill’s house. Jessica catches a whiff of one of them and starts feeding off of them. Those poor damn kids. Andy is not going to be happy when he discovers that all of his kids are dead at the teeth of Jessica.

Sookie gets half disrobed and starts making out with BARLOW. Yeah, that’s a Ben Warlow combo and calls him out on his trail of lies. Duh, duh, duh …what’s going to happen next week!?!

Smaller bites:

  • Jason has his obligatory sexual dream about Ben. I have to admit that the fantasy could be a little more exciting than just shaving each other’s faces.
  • Pam is super defensive of Tara when Eric tries to beat her up (or kind of beat her up).
  • Sam shows Nicole how to shift. In order to properly transport her with her injured leg, he turns into a horse. Cool parlor trick.
  • Terry gets creeped out by the fairy kids. I can’t say that I blame him since they can read his mind. This doesn’t bode well when they go missing, so Andy tries to blame Terry for their disappearance.
  • Sam starts making out with Nicole. He really makes some bad life decisions.
  • I feel bad for the dead, fairy hookers.
  • What’s going to happen to Willa?

The next episode of True Blood, "F*** the Pain Away," airs next week at 9 p.m. EDT/PDT on HBO.

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