Monday, July 1, 2013

'True Blood' recap: 'You're No Good'


The newest episode of True Blood has a little bit of everything, didn’t it? The usual vamps, shifters, werewolves, fairies and oh yeah...REVEREND STEVE IS BACK! He’s a gem.

How Willa She Die?
Eric captures Governor “I hate vampires because my wife fell in love with one and moved to Hollywood” Burrell’s daughter, Willa. Now correct me if I’m way off here, but doesn’t she kind of look like a vampire? That pale skin, those red lips, that desire to taste Eric’s dripping ear blood.

Eric, Pam and Tara drag her away from Fangtasia to Ginger’s house to hide out. Eric plans on using Willa as a negotiating tool as well as gain some valuable insight into the Governor’s experiments. Willa reveals that there is a nasty Vamp Camp which is not only a prison but also a place to experiment and do research on vampires. She paints it as a horrible place and we later discover their latest victim, Steve Newlin. More about him later...

Governor Burrell calls Eric and ding-a-ling Ginger not only answers the phone (which is being traced) but wakes poor Eric from his sleepover. Burrell wants proof that Willa is still alive and pleads for her release. Eric vows that she’ll eventually be murdered ... but how?

The Governor’s lackey seems to track down Eric’s location but before they arrive, Tara and Willa go missing. Eric heads off to find them. What the hell, Tara? Or were they taken?

Burn Baby, Burn
Bill is still getting his bearings and learning all the fun things he could do with his powers. He even thinks he can withstand the sunshine. Well ... he can’t. Jessica vows to stand by his side especially now that he told her that he caught a future glimpse of her and their buds burning up.

Bill has a plan and sends Jessica off to seduce and bring the TruBlood synthesizer to him. Apparently, he loves young ladies. She dons her sluttiest school girl garb and heads to the pervs Organic Chemistry class to glamour him. It seems to work.

Bill pays Sookie a visit and pleads with her to donate her blood to be synthesized, thus helping out Tara, Pam, Jessica, Eric ... By the way, he didn’t need an invite to enter Sookie’s home. What the hell is he? A god? A prophet? Anywho ... Sookie refuses to offer herself as a donor. Bill finally disowns her for good and she’s totes cool with this. Now who will he use to complete his plan?

Where’s Warlow?
Niall must find Warlow. He’s also being a good grandpa and trying to protect Jason and Sookie the best he can. They’re kind of a pain in the ass though and Niall reminds Sookie that this Warlow dude is super powerful. “Warlow is the proverbial shit hitting the fan!”

Niall heads to the Fairy Club to assemble them as a sparkly army to fight against Warlow.

Unfortunately, it looks like Warlow made it there first and killed them all. Niall then runs into Ben who was looking for respite at the club after his attack and injuries. After realizing that Niall is the Fairy King, he bows and then vows to help him fight Warlow and thus help out that cute blonde who helped him out earlier.

Ben and Niall head back to Sookie’s and Niall expresses his concern about finding Warlow. Sookie isn’t too thrilled to see Ben but later when he’s helping her clean up the plates she threw during Bill’s rude visit, she accepts his help. They both also agree that that have an unusual connection. Awww ... love seems to be blossoming. They’re probably related or something. Just Sookie’s luck.

Niall senses that Warlow is outside and blasts his fairy light into the night. It’s Nora. She’s looking for Warlow too. This interrogation stops when Jason collapses. Is it the headaches he’s been having or all of Lafayette’s mystery pills that he’s been popping?

Shady’s Back
It looks like spokes-vamp Steve Newlin has been captured and thrown into vamp camp. Oh those horrible experiments can’t even compare to the horror of his big-haired wife, Sarah. She’s back and she’s just as annoying as ever. She is also not happy with her hubby’s new path. She even wrote a successful tell-all book about him! Oh and she’s in politics now because, “If you really wanna do God’s work, you have to be in politics!” Sigh.

In comes the doctor and he wants to know everything Steve knows about Eric Northman. After a threat, Steve begins to talk...

Shifty Characters
Sam and Lafayette wake up from their wolf beat-down to find standing above them, Nicole Wright of the Vampire Unity Society (VUS) and her annoying boyfriend Jessie who has, oh my lord, the most heinous voice ever.

Nicole apologizes to Sam for any trouble she’s caused and for the loss of Luna. She also offers her and the society’s help. Sam refuses but Lafayette urges him to take the help. Sam has a plan though.

Poor Emma is back at the wolf pack headquarters and has to endure listening to Rikki’s naughty language. She didn’t want Emma there because it will only cause trouble. When the police come to investigate Emma’s abduction, Emma does what she’s told and shifts to her sweet little wolf state. The police go away but the worst is yet to come.

Those VUS pains in the neck come by for a visit hoping to catch a glimpse of them shifting. Their cameras are discovered and they’re attacked. We find out WHO that owl was hanging around the pack ... it’s SAM! Yay ... wait, Sam the Owl? He rescues Emma but not before trying to help the bitten Nicole. Will the bite result in her becoming a werewolf? How does that work again?

Fairy Princesses
Andy tries to help and rekindle his relationship with Holly while his four girls grow up before his eyes. They don’t even have names yet even though they’re pre-teens. Holly learns how to shoot in order to protect herself from the hungry vamps on the loose. She seems like she’ll take back Andy despite his infidelity and new, growing, family.

Andy encounters Bill after curfew and orders him home. Bill agrees but not without spying (and smelling) a stuffed dog on Andy’s front seat. Andy tells Bill about his new brood and Bill walks off smiling. Donors? Oh yes ... what a splendid plan, Bill.

What did you think of “You’re No Good?” Who’s no good? Bill? Eric? The Governor? All of the above? The episode didn’t really thrill me but things are starting to amp up ... I hope.

Next week, “At Last” airs at 9 p.m. ET on HBO.