Monday, June 24, 2013

'True Blood' recap: 'Livin' on a Prayer'

BY DENISE PURVIS

Hello there, Trubies. I'll be helping out with recaps, along with Larissa, for this season. And sliding back into Season 6, Episode 2 was like putting on my favorite pair of buffet britches. After I took a brief break, I had to make up for a lot of lost time and try to figure out what has been going on. Binging on Season 5 only cleared up a few of my questions.

WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON IN BON TEMPS?

At first, I was like, “Who is this scallywag on the bridge in the Clint Eastwood hat?” You know, like I’d missed something. Obviously not. He’s new. Warlow? Maybe?

Jason is beyond loco. There was the whole dead parents thing, and now he sees his fairy grandfather. I do like grandpa’s wardrobe, though. After convincing Jason that he is in fact his super magical gramps, he lets him know that he is pretty pissed that Jason has been going around blabbering all of the family business. I’m shocked that that’s the only thing to disappoint him about Jason. Why is grandpa driving?

Back at Fangtasia, I thought Tara was having a baby, but then I remembered that she had just been shot. Eric comes to the rescue to remove it. I kept wondering why he didn’t get a pair of pliers or something instead of using a broken bottle to remove it, but hey, whatever works. The new bullets are pretty cool and can be used at raves. They are silver bullets that emit UV light.

Pam, Nora, Tara and Eric are all a little testy with all this new evidence coming to light about the human’s making new weapons to defeat the vampires. Meow, Eric, me-ow.

Bill has really taken a turn for the worse since the last time I visited him. He’s tripping out pretty hard on visions of vampires being tortured. Jessica doesn’t know how to help him and she’s looking super fine in her nightgown.

I thought that Bill was dead, but as it turns out, he’s just in a trance like state. While zonked out as Jessica frets over him, he envisions Lillith. She tells him it’s starting. Duh-duh-duuuhhhh!

Sookie always finds trouble, or trouble finds her, but she comes across an injured fairy as she is stomping her way to work. (Isn’t she super cute right here?) Turns out that she finds another Halfling like herself. He seems pretty cute and doesn’t have fangs, so he’s got that going for him. Despite all the weird shit that constantly happens to her, she still drags Ben back to her house.

Some super skinny, beautiful chick comes into Merlotte’s looking for Sam. Her name is Nicole Wright, and she wants him to come out as a shifter since she’s the founder of the Vampire Unity Society. Riiigghhhhhtttt. Sounds like a great idea.

Back to Bill in his super trance where Lillith keeps giving him doomsday messages, Jessica has no idea what’s wrong with him. She calls a hooker/bloodletting service to attempt to revive him. Sorry, Veronica, you were too good for this world. Bill does some gross trick that makes her contort and spill all of her blood into his mouth.

Eric does a little recon and steals this nerdy guy’s getup and sneaks in to see the governor. I have to admit, I really like his get up. I thought that he was going to be able to glamour the governor. Whomp, whomp. Oh no, the governor has super fancy anti-glamour contacts.

Grandpa tells Jason that Warlow has arrived. When your super magical grandpa shows up, you feed him spaghetti. He tells Sookie that there’s only one way to defeat Warlow, and that’s to manifest her light and essentially blow him up. It’s a last ditch effort for her because once she does it, she’s no longer a fairy. No one questions fairy grandpa.

Alcide, Martha, and Danielle come to Sam’s after Emma. Sam wants to keep Emma, and Emma wants to stay with Sam, so of course they take her away. Not before Danielle (who has a very scary voice) punches out Lafayette. Damn, girl. Nicole and her big city friends catch the whole altercation on camera.

As the governor’s daughter removes her contacts, Eric hovers at the window at glamours her. Joke’s on you, suckas!

Jessica is convinced that Bill is God, but then realizes that all of his crazy ranting was actually true and that Bill can now see into the future. Unfortunately, Bill sees that the vampires all get herded into a room filled with sunlight, burning alive…er, or undead.

Smaller bites:

  • Arlene has NO trouble whatsoever telling Maggie (Patrick’s wife) that Patrick ran out on her. Eh, I guess it’s better than telling her the truth.
  • I knew I wasn’t tripping! I went back and looked, and the hoodie that Sookie is wearing when she’s taking care of Ben on her couch is different than the hoodless jacket that she was wearing when she discovered him in the woods. I guess there was no point to that observation. When she’s taking Ben to fairyland she has them layered. I guess I could have waited for my astounding discovery.
  • Isn’t it possible that Sookie and Ben are long lost fairy cousins?
  • I wonder if Nicole Wright has ever seen X-Men.
  • Andy’s kids are getting big, y’all.
  • Nora tells Pam that Eric really does love her. Awwwww.
  • Speaking of Nora, what’s up with her hair? Is it a wig?
  • The governor’s daughter was definitely using Equate contact solution.
The next episode of True Blood, "You're No Good," airs Sunday, June 30, at 9 p.m.

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