Tuesday, September 23, 2014

'Sleepy Hollow' Recap: 'This Is War'

Courtesy Fox
BY DAWN FEAKES

When we last left Sleepy Hollow, Katrina had been freed but recaptured by Headless, Abbie was stuck in purgatory having traded herself to free Katrina which worked out incredibly well, Captain Irving was in jail, and Ichabod was buried by his son Henry Parrish/Jeremy Crane who had kidnapped Jenny and has major daddy issues (thanks Moloch!). Everyone ready? Let's do this.

Ichabod is remarkably calm for being buried alive when he 'wakes up' and Abbie has a cupcake for him. Happy Birthday! Let me guess, you didn't blow out candles 250 years ago either. No time to party though, we got ourselves a case! More people missing their heads but what does the Horseman want with a history professor's research on Ben Franklin? Good think Ichie's here, seeing as he was Ben's apprentice and whatnot. Wait, what? He finds the hidden drawer with the hidden files when Headless bursts into the room wielding...machine guns? Well, we just up and went 21st century here, now didn't we? Crazed by rage, Ichie will stop at nothing to get to him but focus man. He has my wife! Well he has my sister. Fine, it's a draw.

Oh, of course Ichie was there for the kite and key experiment because, you know, apprentice. But the experiment wasn't about electricity. Oh, no, it was about destroying the key which has the delightful ability to break down the rules of purgatory, like, the one rule about one not leaving unless another takes their place. Spoiler alert: didn't work, BUT if used, it could let anyone out, for example, Moloch which would come under the heading of very bad things. Alas, it's been missing for 250 years. Who can help us? I know, my son. You know, the one who buried me alive. But Henry isn't give something for nothing. We've brought you...a shrubbery. Now, read these papers and tell us your psychic impressions. Eh, nothing. (Liar) but I could read Abbie's hands. You do want to crack the case, don't you? Hell no! You just keep your sin eating to yourself there mister. Wait, Jenny went to steal the sketchbook but how did we capture him? Oh crap, we didn't. Crane get your ass out of that coffin and find the key!

Back in the real world, Jenny is awakened by Henry. You can't hide your sins from me. He wants that sketchbook and holds her head in a most unfortunate position. Sorry babe, war is hell. Ichabod, now would be a good time to get out of the coffin. Just saying. But not so fast; Katrina was (re)captured by Headless who pulls out a knife and cuts her bonds so she can eat but she grabs the knife and stabs him instead. Ungrateful wench. Meanwhile, Abbie wanders around Purgatory and just before running headlong into Moloch, she's stopped by Andy Brooks who's still trying to make amends for being the asshat he was when alive. The demon is preparing for war which is Not Good, so she needs to find Katrina to get a message to Ichabod. Abbie honey, Katrina is useless at messages and Ichabod goes stupid when he sees her. She's really a terrible witch. Do it yourself. Speaking of Ichie, he records a message for Abbie on his phone which was very touching except it was out of memory. I once took a camera to Williamsburg and took pictures all day without loading any film so I feel ya bro. Wait. He can't wash his clothes or his hair but can use a smartphone? Ichie MacGuyver's his way out of the coffin using a flashlight, three toothpicks and a squirrel. Okay, fine, a match and sulfur-laced dirt. Anyways, he's out and on the move to find Jenny.

Never one to be a damsel in distress, Jenny's trying to get free; prison time has taught her some valuable skills like Creating Weapons 102 and Advanced Knife Throwing. She somehow retained her phone and texts a picture to Ichie of her location. Since he's new at this, he responds right away. Oh look, he's right there. That was certainly convenient.

Wandering through Purgatory, Brooks and Abbie find the magic mirror. He's helping her because he needed to know he had some choice of free will left, to remind him he's human. In our home dimension, Jenny picks the lock while Ichie sneaks onto the facility grounds and steals an ambulance. Huh, didn't know you could get a driver's license in the 1700s. Good thing he didn't have to parallel park. With 2/3 of our merry band reunited, Ichabod fills Jenny in: Katrina got recaptured, Abbie's stuck in Purgatory, and he missed his birthday party. Is there any good news? Uh, we have to get the sketchbook before Henry does so we can find the key. Oh, is that all?

They find the book but it's written in code; Jeebus Ichie, some apprentice you were. Knowing Ben he buried the key with the only person he trusted: himself. Trouble is, Ben isn't buried in Sleepy Hollow but Jenny has an idea. To the ambulance! Back in Purgatory, Abbie sneaks into Moloch's lair to use his magic mirror and brings Ichie to her. She's a lot better at this communication thing than Katrina was as they actually get stuff done. Crane, you can't use the key. That's what Moloch wants.The good of the many and all that. Abbie, have you learned nothing? You know he'll come back for you. Fine but be careful. And break.

Operation 'Retrieve the Key' is a go. Ben was a crazy old man. Crazy like a fox that is. Ichie finally puts the pieces together that 'the key to success lies under the alarm clock'. Well done Ichabod. It only took you 250 years to puzzle it out. No time to gloat though, Headless, er, Abraham, has plunged into his seduction of Katrina, parading in front of her in various stages of undress and finery. Aw, c'mon, Red; we can finally be together. Forever. In the magical, mystical land of purgatory. What a fantastic deal! Can't believe she didn't jump at the chance. But she must have had a premonition as Ichabod is ready to go.

Jenny reminds him of the rules: no eating, no drinking and don't accept anything from anyone else you will end up wedded to Hades. Sorry, wrong mythology. Scrabbling around on the ground, Abbie searches for the lost amulet. Oh, you mean the one that Headless placed around Katrina's neck? Well that's certainly a problem. She forgets to check her six when Ichabod shows up and offers her some water. Just as she's about to drink another Ichabod shows up yelling 'Leftenant!' She jumps the false Ichabod an it. is. on. One emerges victorious with the key in hand (for god's sake, Ichabod, why didn't you put the damn thing in your pocket?!) to head back to the real world. Ready to go Lieutenant? Sure am, but let me grab this sword and behead you first. This may have been the first time that weird British pronunciations were actually good for something. Yes, well done, huzzah and all that but y'all need to get the heck out of there before Moloch breaks free. They get through and the door closes in the nick of time, disintegrating the key. Or does it? We all know Ichie won't leave Katrina behind if he can help it. Dude, she lied to you about, well, everything. Maybe it's time you moved on, hm?

We won this round but it ain't over. Yeah, Ichabod, I'd say you have some problems: your ex-best friend Abraham became the Horseman of Death, your son Jeremy Crane/Henry Parrish became the Horseman of War and your wife is still stuck in Purgatory. Mount up folks, this is war. A defeated Henry returns to his lair to find Moloch waiting for him. Oh stop groveling you fool, it was just a minor setback. For a demon bent on the destruction of the human race, he's taking this disappointment quite well. On to Plan C: here's a magic suit of armor. You are the Horseman of War after all so use your soul to control it. Uh, Henry? Bad things tend to happen when your soul is involved.

Next week: Katrina is tortured and Ichie needs to save her but doing so will require raising a monster. Shockingly, he's all in. Tune in next Monday at 9 p.m. ET on Fox for "The Kindred."

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