Monday, August 24, 2015

'The Strain' Recap: 'The Born'

Photo courtesy

The Master got a brand new bag, Eph got more people killed, Dutch crawled out of her hole but Quinlan is in the house so let's do this.

Flashback! Setrakian tells the history of the Born who got his start as a gladiator and a vicious one at that. How he kept from eating those he vanquished I'll never know. The arena was his life until the Roman senator Sertorius, knowing all about the occult, decided to sponsor him. I may have watched too much 'Monty Python' as all I can hear when listening to them talk is Michael Palin saying 'Biggus Dickus.' Anyway, the gladiator accepts and is rechristened Quintus. Onward!

You know what is not great morning after pillow talk? Pining for your roommate/girlfriend when still unclothed from the previous evening's shenanigans. She needs to go have her passionately destructive relationships somewhere else and leave our man V alone, amirite ladies? Breaking into her apartment, they find Nikki hiding under the stairs and suddenly Fet finds himself odd man out. No worries V; you've got all of twitter ready to help you mend your broken...heart.

Palmer spends almost as much time watching Coco working as actually doing work but bad news chief; Goodweather still lives though the bioweapon has been neutralized. I bet that's the last time you ever hire an assassin off of Craigslist, eh Palmer. Wounded and grieving, Eph stumbles into a bar because of course he does. He pours one out literally on his shoulder then more down his throat. Oh my holy hell YES, we get it that he's fallen off the wagon. No need to bash our heads in with it. Meanwhile Fet handles the return of Nikki with about as much grace as my first grader when told that screen time is done. Can you just get your clothes so we can leave? Wait. She's coming too? Dammit. Abe is grumpy they're late. Fet is grumpy that he got bumped from his own bed and Nikki isn't ready to drink the kool-aid yet. Mr. Fet: I really don't care about your romantic entanglements. Now get your head in the game.

Still grumping about Dutch and Nikki, Fet and Setrakian break into one of Palmer's purchases that Abe has a very bad feeling about. And yet you go in. All righty then. They find the school bus for the blind children but the spies are being spied on. Quinlan's got their back though. About to 'reconnect,' Dutch and Nikki are interrupted by the return of Eph and how in the hell did he get back to New York?! I know you. Ah yes, the Track Star. No one is ever going to let her forget about that, are they? You know who's having even less fun right now? That would be Fet and Setrakian as they've discovered the feelers' lair and those that didn't pass initiation. They're about the engage in an even higher-stakes game of hide and seek with the remaining feelers when the spider-kids are called off. Enter resident bad-ass: Quinlan who puts on one-man slaying spectacular, rendering Setrakian speechless in amazement. Fet might just go vamp for him is all I'm saying.

Nothing like a little B&E to clear the mind.
Coco and Palmer take a helicopter ride and he tells her a story about Goodweather killing his good friend Barnes and several people in DC. Coco, we still have no real idea what your purpose is and really, we don't care but if you don't stop asking questions, you will find yourself earning your wings the hard way. Kind of like Setrakian feeling out Quinlan for his angle. The best news in a while that Setrakian has had that they have something in common: hunting The Master. Time for a flashback!

Quinlan tracked The Master to the Romanian village where Jusef Sardu made his home. He's warned away from the village as it's cursed but no, this is what he's looking for. Deep underground his finds the missing villagers and yammers at them a bit before destroying them with his lucky bone sword. The Ancients told him about a human who injured The Master, forcing him to transfer to a new form. These are his kind of people! Fet is being ignored by Setrakian now that he has Quinlan on the team so Fet continues to grump. Shut up man and remember that nothing is more important than destroying The Master!

Nora checks in on an injured, hung-over Eph, patching him up and suggesting that hey, you may want to talk to your son about his obsessed, crack-whore mother. As the haze clears, he realizes that maybe he shouldn't have left New York for Washington. You think? Especially since none of the rest of the group really ever signed-on to be babysitters. Someone else who needs watching right now is Fet as he sets out to blow up the Master's hiding place. I hope you worked out your timing with Quinlan, Fet, as he's about to go up against The Master Malice Cooper (thanks to @tonysolo and @kellythul for supplying that fantastic name.) With Eichhorst and Setrakian also in attendance, it's now a proper duel. The Master goads the Born by bringing up his wife and Quinlan takes the bait, jumping for the Master as Fet's bombs go off, allowing escape. Dammit, Vasiliy, you blew too soon. Quinlan is out for blood worms now and you might have mucked up any chance of an alliance with that stunt. But seriously Q, baited into attacking? You should know better than that.

Come at me, bro.
Eph and Zack reunite and Zack, for once, is not a raging asshat, being slightly understanding of what Eph tried to accomplish. It's not that the solution didn't work, it's that I needed a different door. Preferably one that did not include murder. But enough about that; Nora told me about last night. Kinda scary, huh? That would be the understatement of the year right there Eph. Yeah, I saw Mom; she really needs a day at the spa. He tries to explain that the deep love Kelly had for Zack had morphed into this insatiable need to be with her Dear One. Yeah, yeah. He gets it. He doesn't care, but he gets it. Dad...just don't promise anything. It's kind of the ultimate jinx. Also reuniting (or trying to) are Nikki and Dutch when Fet comes in and hoo-boy. Awkward. He lashes out at Eph for leaving them with Zack, Nikki for being useless, and Dutch for embroiling him in her passionately destructive relationships. She keeps using that word; I do not think it means what she thinks it means. They're hiding at Fet's house so naturally he leaves for the bar. Pretty sure you're going to have company soon my friend.

Coco and Palmer enjoy a night cap after their flight around a burning Manhattan. Nothing turns her on like a good inferno and she's actively trying to seduce him. I really, really need a shower right now as girlfriend is after that Old Money, if you know what I mean. Across town Setrakian reads Zack a bedtime story about the history of the Born. Is it legend or real? Yes. Thanks for clearing that up Abe.

Eph tracks Fet to a bar. Women, huh? DC didn't work out. Dutch didn't work out. What's next? Well, it's pretty obvious: Eldritch Palmer Must Die.

Next week Eph has to remind Zack (again) that Kelly is (still) dead and she isn't going to go back to normal. Deal with it kid. And what is going on with Nikki? Tune into FX on August 30 at 10 p.m. ET for 'Intruders.'