Monday, September 14, 2015

'The Strain' Recap: 'The Assassin'

Photo courtesy cinemablend.com
BY DAWN FEAKES

The Battle for Red Hook is over, the battle for the world has just begun. Let's do this.

Eph is still hell-bent on his plan to solve (?) the vampire menace by killing Palmer so to that end, he and Dutch set up a listening station across from Palmer's office penthouse. She's got all the cool gear because she is very good at cultivating 'relationships.' Mmhm. Sure. Meanwhile, the Mayor and Councilwoman Feraldo host a press conference with the good news that Feraldo's Safe Streets Initiative is coming to the Upper East Side...but at a cost. She's levying a 1% tax on all property values to fund it. These are your options folks: pay in bouillon or pay in blood like the people in Red Hook did. What's it going to be? No personal checks or silicone accepted. Hm, suddenly there's not as much applause as there was a few minutes ago.

In the bread van of secrecy, Fet, Nora, and Setrakian discuss the Lumen. Or rather, Abe gives them some history but then assures them that it's really not cursed. Now, let's visit these addresses and find that book! Oh goody. Palmer shows up at Coco's apartment house wanting to make amends because her lurves her. You forgot the boombox man. Rookie mistake right there. She's mad but weakening and we all question the point of this entire story line.

Stop number one... It's a rave so probably not going to be the hiding place of an invaluable book. But what is there are vampires. Easily dispatched, NBD. On to the next. Still on the stakeout, Eph and Dutch reach the arbitrary expectation of monogamy point of philosophical discussions. While they debate the point, the mayor arrives to speak with Palmer who has returned with Coco. She's not ready to drink the Kool-Aid again quite yet so he's being very pleasant and persuasive and doesn't kick her out of the room when the mayor begins whining about Feraldo taxing them. Tell her to stop taking our money! Palmer's in a good mood so sure, he'll pay the councilwoman a visit. Uh oh, she's in trouble! Looks like it's Dutch and Eph to the rescue and there's no way he's going to take advantage of this to live out his glory dreams of sniperdom. Nope. Not our Eph.

Stop number two... It's a bookstore locked up tight like that's ever stopped Fet before. No rave at least so there's that. Start looking; it's an old book bound in silver but check every volume, just in case. Best. Job. Ever. Eph and Dutch get into position which involves them being very unstealthy on the roof. He's got the tools but does he have the talent? The jury's still out but he does have the booze. That's an excellent idea Eph to have a nip for courage. Dutch is so incredibly turned on by his sheen of badassery that we know this will end badly for everyone. Honey, that's actually the sun reflecting off his head but whatever. Palmer arrives with entourage in tow but he needs a clean shot. He gets it and takes it but because he's Eph and incapable of not mucking things up, it's not Palmer who goes down. It's Coco. Oops. Better start running guys.

Oh dear, escape is blocked. Dammit Dutch, you had one job! Okay, Plan B then: blend in with the crowd. And they failed spectacularly at that as well. Third times the charm? Down the blocked off alley. You two are the worst criminals ever. It's all over the news that two people are in custody for an attempt on Eldritch Palmer's life . Fet immediately knows that it was Eph and Dutch because he's not stupid. Even being cock-blocked by Nikki, his first thought is to save Dutch while Setrakian insists that the book is the most important thing. Caught in the middle, Nora heads out with Fet to leave Setrakian to hunt alone. Coco's not quite dead yet! Palmer brought her to his private surgery in his office and there is no way that place is sterile enough for an operating room. He's distraught and of course Eichhorst shows up to gloat and Palmer insists that Eichhorst bring the Master. What, so he can use his divine essence so that you may continue fornicating with your secretary? Dude, magic chivo is magic. You wouldn't understand. It's safe to say that today it was advantage: Eichhorst.

Palmer is completely distraught over Coco's state; she is stable but they can't say if she'll ever wake up. Huh, I guess he did learn how to love after all. And if she dies, there will be hell to pay. Dammit, Eph. Speaking of Eph, he and Dutch cool their heels in a holding cell and oh, now you'e thinking about consequences. She's pulled out of the cell and we hope that's the end of her. Suddenly this is a very empty police station so Palmer strolls in to basically thumb his nose at Eph: nyah nyah; I'm alive and you failed. Let's review for a moment all the things that Eph is bad at: sneaking, planning, shooting, escaping and, oh yes, keeping Zack safe. Who has been watching the erstwhile tween? Don't know, don't care. Back to the gloating: Palmer brags that he and the Master are partners to which Eph visibly snorts because no. Eph *rightly* points out that why should the Master share his kingdom with anyone? Palmer's not listening because he has one last knife to twist - when you die, no one will notice.

Abe continues to search for the book by himself and almost gets it from a vamp. Who had two decapitations in the pool this week? The Lumen isn't here. Onward. Palmer sits vigil with Coco when he thought he heard a 'whoosh.' The Master has arrived to save the secretary. She wakes up to see the Master in all his, uh, 'glory', and is thoroughly frightened and confused. Palmer's really (really) new at this relationship thing and he can only rejoice that she is okay and can share all of his plans with her. Entrance into The Brotherhood of the Worm Juice is a great honor. They meet the last Thursday of every month at the American Legion Hall. Refreshments will be served. Aren't you glad you came back, Coco? Back at the police station, the vamps arrive in force and rather than let Eph out to fight, one cop hides in the cell with him. Let me in, let me in! Let me out, let me out! It almost works until the cop gets it in the neck. Eph, you are screwed. Fet and Nora arrive and we know Fet still carries a torch for Dutch as she's all he can think about. Man, she was taken, we don't know where. Frustrated and pissed, Abe stalks the streets to his last lead. He discovers the Lumen buried under the floorboards but his super vamp-sensing powers are useless around humans as a mysterious one knocks him out and takes the book. See folks, this is why you don't linger: grab and go. It's the only way. The only one having a worse day is Dutch as she is chained up in Eichhorst's torture/feeding chamber. He's going to enjoy this.

Next week Dutch is given an Eichhorst make over (not the red lipstick man, too garish) and the search for the Lumen resumes, this time with no clues to help. Is Zack still safe? Who cares.  Join us at 10 p.m. ET for 'Dead End' only on FX.

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