Zombie Reagan raised from grave to lead GOP

In a move to desperately find their next Reagan-esque leader, the Republican party decided to simply re-animate their last Reagan-esque leader, the formerly alive 40th president, Ronald Reagan.  It took a lot of brains to figure out how to do it, and those brains will likely be rewarded by some gumming from the Gipper.

It's dawn (of the dead) in America again, and under the re-leadership of Zombie President Reagan, our country is prouder and stronger ... and hungrier.

Here's the report from the Onion News Network:

Zombie Reagan Raised From Grave To Lead GOP