The Conspiracy Nut Report: The Philadelphia Experiment (not just a movie!)

Known only as The Conspiracy Nut, this writer comments frequently on his theories of machinations, scandals and conspiracies in paranormal pop culture and their connection to the real world. The views reflected in The Conspiracy Nut Report are wacky and (probably, hopefully, maybe?) completely untrue, and definitely not those of  However, they are fun to read.

The Conspiracy Nut Report

Last year I was in The City of Brotherly Love and ventured down to the naval yards to check out some odd stories I'd been hearing.  Most of you are familiar with the story of the Philadelphia Experiment, or at least have heard of the movie starring Michael Pare (who also starred in Eddie and the Cruisers).  Well, to make a long story short, the naval department outfitted the U.S.S. Eldridge with a series of EMF generators in order to make the ship invisible both optically and to radar. 

As the story goes, the ship vanished from the Philly docks, materialized in Norfolk, Va., then dematerialized again and reappeared in Philly. 
Along the way, several crew members vanished, some were fused to the hull and those that survived were never right again.  The fact of it is, all survivors were deemed mentally unfit for duty and received medical discharge from the navy. 

In the movie version, Michael Pare disappeared (just like he did in Eddie along with his movie career), and ended up in 1984 - 40 years in the future.

OK, back to present day. I’m was at the naval yard, investigating stories of electrical dead zones which fluctuate with great intensity, and looking for secret storage rooms that contain preserved bodies (fused to sheet metal) and the big one: The communications room where they made contact with the missing men. 

As I walked the docks I found several spots that made my compass spin like a ceiling fan and my EMF detector was lit up like a Christmas tree.  Then I noticed a small garage off the beaten path that looked abandoned.  I ventured over and found a way in, and lo and behold I hit the mother load.
In the middle of the big room was what looked like a giant fish tank, filled with what I can only imagine was formaldehyde, and the bodies of two men fused to hunks of metal. 

I tried in vain to take pictures but I was in a high EMF zone. Next, I went into a small room on the side filled with high tech communication equipment and immediately started reading every file I could lay my hands on.

Based on my readings, it turns out the missing crew members are stuck in a time rift. They move in and out of space freely using electrical wiring. In 1984, contact was made with them. At first every effort was made to retrieve them, but all efforts failed. The two sailors, known as Jim and Barney, were asked to still serve their country. Because of their unique ability, they are this country’s top spies since, with a time rift, you can be everywhere almost at once.

I read on and got some more great information but my time was short; I heard voices and hightailed it out of there. That was last year. Just recently I was back in Philly trying to infiltrate a highly secret covert society known as the Mummers. 

I went back to the naval yards only to find the garage had been bulldozed; they must have discovered my break in. Once again I left the docks quickly and Philadelphia even quicker. I only hope they don’t send Jim and Barney after me. 

Until next time my friends, keep your minds open and your eyes wide