Fool moon fever: Teenage werewolves new teenage vampires

We've expected for some time that werewolves would be the next paranormal pop culture pets after vampires and zombies. Now, aside from True Blood's Alcide or Team Jacob's crowd, MTV is preparing to shoot their horror series Teen Wolf, based off the 1985 Michael J. Fox van-surfing comedy classic.

What we didn't predict, but should have in a bitingly sarcastic post, is the I Was A Teenage Werewolf subculture that would emerge as a result of the werewolf's rise. Yes, teen wolves are the new teen vampires (which were the new emo, which were the new goth).

In the video embedded below is the story of "Wolfie Blackheart" and his club - sorry, "wolf pack" - in San Antonio, Texas. It would seem Wolfie, along with other high schoolers are howling, putting in fangs and animal contact lenses, and wearing leashes and stapling plush tales to their dumb asses as a way to rebel - wait, I'm sorry, as a way to express themselves and find community. The pups claim they don't want to be scary, but the detail of a missing dog's skull being found in Wolfie's possession is just a tad glossed over in the video.

And the money quote from a teen wolf in the "news" segment: "We're not a gang at all ... gangs are poseurs; they just want attention." Riiiight.

Personally, this strikes me as a connect-the-dots non-trend the media enjoys cooking up (Really? Van Helsing as inspiration?). Still, even if this is happening only at a handful of schools, as Dread Central puts it, "suddenly the vampire lifestyle seems more dignified."

Seriously, am I the only one who misses Marilyn Manson right now?