'True Blood' recap: 'Trouble'

At-home critic (and Rental Reviewer) Denise Purvis reviews HBO's vampire soap True Blood each week.

True Blood, S3, ep. 5: 'Trouble'

Ahhhh, Sookie. This week’s episode was not full of action, but it was full of one-liners. In the opening scene, Alcide and Sookie are fleeing from Deb’s engagement party. As Alcide recklessly drives away, Sookie urges him to slow down: “I know that if you don’t slow down, you’re going to kill us. And I am not going to die because of your shitty girlfriend and a Mississippi pothole.”

Later on with the Sookie/Alcide subplot, Deb shows up looking fresh out of a White Snake video ready to brawl with Sookie. As Sookie tries to pick Deb’s head for info, she realizes Deb has no idea who Bill Compton is.

Meanwhile, as Tara is tied up in the King’s house (huge hub of activities this week), Bill, Lorena and King Russell stroll in. Tara pleads for help from Bill to which he responds with a curt, “No.” Besides the fact that Franklin has Tara tied up, it becomes evident that he’s a bit unhinged.

Franklin was the highlight of this week’s episode. As best said by the King, “Franklin, you’re a huge freak. I like your work.” He gets quite menacing when he sees that Tara gets a text from Lafayette. Then, he tries to look for the right words to respond. In a very human moment, he shows off a bit with his texting skillz: “Hey, Tara, watch how fast I type motherf----r.” Ha!

Later, during the day, as Tara is tied up next to Franklin, she uses her teeth to escape (Girl, don’t you know that house is overrun with weird creatures?). As she’s sprinting across the yard - when you think she just may make it - she’s tackled by Coot in wolf form.  When she's brought back, Tara turns on the manipulative charm and tell Frankie she's afraid of the other vamps - not him. In her next scene, she's crying at the dinner table because evidently vampires aren’t too hip to the human diet and they try to feed her daylilies.

Once again, Tara pulls out a survival tactic and tries to explain she's into Franklin but needs to eat human food. The scene seems to be going her way until a major WTF moment when Frank tells her he understands and wants to take her out somewhere real nice (a Shoney’s in Vicksburg. Cheap date) - to celebrate her last night as a human before he turns her into his vampire bride. WTF indeed.

So, have I mentioned everyone seems to be showing up at Russell’s house? After Franklin gets there, he shows the king the Stackhouse family documents he nabbed from Bill's house. This leads to Russ insinuating that Bill has been following Sookie's family for some time at Queen Sophie's behest to determine the source of her telepathy. And Bill denies it vehemently.

Then Eric pops in looking for his missing vampire (Bill) and tries to place the blame for the V sales on Mr. Compton. Russ shoots down Eric's lie by bringing in Billy Boy (and Talbot says it best about Bill: “He’s not missing and he’s way too square to deal V”). Eric fesses up about the Magister, and the King expresses disdain for the relic and tells Eric that he may be able to help save Pam.

BTW, Talbot’s so got a crussssssssssh on Eric, which makes me think he'll eventually turn on Russell to aide Eric. Anyhow, as Talbot is showing Eric (in a V-neck, natch) around the King’s home, they too are acting all flirty and looking at antiques, such as ancient Japanese vampire erotica (you don't have any?). Amongst all the artifacts, I exclaimed, “This is the perfect time for an Eric flashback!” And right on cue, Talbot shows Eric a Viking crown and we’re taken back on a trip down memory lane with Eric. It turns out Eric (hornball then, hornball now) was the son of the Viking king.

During a "grow up, son" chat over Viking dinner, Eric's pop tells blondie, "You can’t spend your life between a woman’s legs,” to which Eric replies, “I can try.” They fight and he promptly trots off to bang the maiden. Good time for a quickie, Eric, because werewolves (with the same branding we've seen on Coot's gange) show up to kill his whole family. But wait, there's more: The shrouded boss of the werewolves, hanging out in the shadows, takes the Viking crown and warns Eric from following. Who is the boss? Darth Sidious, Emperor Palpatine...no, it's probably just Russell. Either way, Eric vows revenge, and in the next scene, a moment of clarity dons on the modern-day blonde.

On the "were" side of things, Alcide and Sookie visit Al's pack leader, who apparently knows about the V-drinking wolves. Sook digs out of his mind that he's scared scatless of the other wolfpack. She also picks up that the vamp she saw at the lupine bar last episode was Russell, the King of Mississippi. Later on, likely based on the Al and Sook's interaction with Deb, Coot shows up to hassle Bill with news that Sookie is shacking up with a werewolf. Bill gets nasty and kicks Coot's butt, and breaks out of the house.

At the end of the episode, Bill shows up at Alcide’s apartment. They share a brief hug and he urges her to leave when … right on time, the King and his goons burst in.  Sookie does her fancy, secret light maneuver to blast a henchman which the King exclaims (knowingly?) “Fantastic!”

Smaller bites:
  • Arlene & Terry. They’re moving in together. Great…who cares?
  • Jason is too dumb for words. His first day at the Sheriff’s office had me so bored I was playing games on my phone. I did perk up when Jason met mystery blonde Crystal. So, what’s going with her…hmmm?
  • Lafayette & Jesus are cute, but I think they spent a little too much time on that.
  • Sam’s family. Am I the only one tired of them? And what’s the deal with Joe Lee & Tommy?
  • Speaking of Tommy, he's macking on Jessica, who happens to see Hoyt on a date with a dullard.