'True Blood' recap: 'Whatever I Am, You Made Me'


Now we’re cookin’! This True Blood episode ramps up the story lines, offers some interesting surprises and provides not only the men, but the ladies with some sweet shirtless eye candy. Tasty stuff.

True Blood is great for picking up exactly where the last episode left off. Tara recovers from not only her silver misting, but it looks like her gunshot wound also. We see the world how she is now seeing it - distorted vision, yet heightened senses. Sookie and Lafayette are frantically looking for her but she’s too damn fast. Tara spies a damsel in distress with a flat tire and is on her like, well, a hungry vampire on human prey. After the catchy opening tune, we see that Tara isn’t devoid of a soul, after all. She sees her reflection (wait, what?) in the girl’s car window, releases her and apologizes. At least the real Tara is in there somewhere.

Back at the Authority HQ in New Orleans, the Council makes no bones about being angry about the whole Russell Edgington situation and want the "traitors," aka Bill and Eric, terminated. Roman says that he’ll take it under advisement and dismisses all of them except for seductive Salome. Bill vows to bring Russell to them or "die trying."

Roman verbalizes that starving egomaniac Russell is going to be over-the-top pissed off and his psychopathic tendencies will be extreme. But how does Roman plan on keeping the peace with humans and continue his mainstreaming agenda? By introducing the world to the new Nan Flanagan - the delightfully obnoxious Reverend Steve Newlin! We pretty much love him and his Joker-like smile, don’t we?

Rev. Steve learns Russell is still alive but he basically says humans are gullible idiots and will believe anything the media tells them. "You tell me what to believe and I’ll sell it to them!." Roman is not amused and confronts the vamp newbie. All Roman wants is a friendly vamp who could work a crowd. The good reverend vows sheepishly to not let him down.

Bill and Eric’s release to find Russell has an unpleasant condition. Molly (Tina Majorino) fits them with phone app-controlled tracking harnesses that knows their every move and will kill them with the press of a button. She warns them to behave because they’re "too cute to be goo." Agreed.

In order to learn if she could trust the dynamic duo, both Bill and Eric are seduced by Salome, who it turns out is the Salome of the whole John the Baptist/Dance of the Seven Veils scene. She later tells Roman that the Authority could trust them and that they’re not members of the Sanguinista movement. However, Roman reveals that Nora confessed her Sanguinista beliefs under a good silvering by the Texas version of Sharon Osbourne, Rosalyn. He’s not happy. All he wants is perfect harmony between humans and vampires, and he’ll stop at nothing to get it. Oh, then he has sex with Salome, too. Lucky girl. Bill and Eric later reveal to each other that they’ve both had sex with Salome and as their elevator door opens, they’re greeted by several officers of the Authority. What ever could they want?

After frantic Sookie can’t find Tara, she goes to Fangtasia to find an even more frantic Pam still concerned about her maker, Eric. Sookie vows that she had nothing to do with the disappearance and that the threesome is kaput. Sookie just wants Pam to summon Tara but she’s still reluctant to deal with her new creation and gives Sookie a good tossing. Sookie gets all faerie badass on Pam and sends her flying too.

Sookie and Lafayette continue to be worried about Tara’s whereabouts but she’s closer than they think. Sam is taking out the trash outside of Merlotte’s and, much to his shock, finds a bloodied and newly-fanged Tara in the bushes. He takes her into the bar and she sucks down what looks like his entire stash of Tru Blood. After she pleads with the confused Sam to not tell Sookie or Lafayette where she is, she passes out. Later, when Sookie confronts Sam about Tara’s locale, his thoughts lead her to the walk-in freezer. Tara is a vampcicle? She won’t mind, right? No, she’s still majorly pissed at her cousin and friend and later storms off - again - in front of a shocked audience.

So what’s up with Terry and Arlene’s sitch? This story is going to pick up soon, right? Yes, it is. In a quick scene, we find out that secretive Terry is heading out on the road with Patrick. He won’t tell Arlene any details and she’s not too happy. Will she be there for him when he gets back? Probably.

Just as Andy (Chris Bauer) discovers that his naked butt ended up on Facebook thanks to Holly’s sons who walked in on them having sex, in walk Debbie Pelt’s parents. They’re in town looking for their daughter and want answers. They later confront Alcide and he reveals that he abjured her because she was sleeping with the pack master. He still doesn’t know she’s dead and really doesn’t have any more answers. Yet.

Alcide later finds out from Andy-interrogated and shaken Sookie, that she shot and killed her. His fur gets majorly ruffled and pleading Sookie wants to know what he’ll do with the info. We just have to wait and see!

Lafayette is pretty shaken too. When Arlene yells at him for the gumbo not being ready and oh, for having his cousin turned into a vampire, he flips and pours bleach into the pot. He then sees that he has transformed into that demon-creature from last season. Luckily he throws out that poisoned gumbo before a poor customer tasted it and wrote a bad Yelp review!

Jason ends up having a revelation in this episode. After meeting and bedding the teacher that took his virginity and taught him everything - the original Mrs. Don Draper from Mad Men, Melinda Page Hamilton - he knows how to do well, he finally faces the truth that he’s a male whore. But we like him that way! Even Jessica can’t get him inside of her after she’s all ramped up on male faerie smells. There’s that faerie word again! Are they coming back to Bon Temps?

Poor forlorn Pam keeps flashing back to when she first met and got turned by Eric. It was in 1905 in San Francisco, and we also discover how Eric meets Bill. Such a small world! Eric is in the brothel and in true Cathouse style, the gals are lined up for the picking. Eric wants Pam though and everything has a price. After a confrontation with young vamp Bill and his maker Lorena (Mariana Klaveno), Eric and Pam have sex (we get to see Eric’s butt!) and she begs him to turn her. He refuses and tells her that it’s a huge deal to be a maker. Pam slits her wrists and pretty much forces him to turn her. Damn, she’s one persuasive madam! It’s kind of romantic though, right?

So where did Tara storm off to? As she’s walking through town, she comes upon the local tanning salon, Curl Up and Fry! Why would she want to break into that place? UV light suicide of course. She gets into a bed and turns that cancer box on. Pam senses it and mutters "you stupid bitch."

Is it Tara’s true end? Will Pam save her? Will we get to see more faeries soon? Will Jason become a monk? How is Russell’s diet going?

Check out next’s week’s episode at 9 p.m. ET/PT on HBO, "We'll Meet Again":

Eric (Alexander SkarsgĂ„rd) and Bill (Stephen Moyer) have doubts they will survive the search for Russell (Denis O’Hare). Sookie (Anna Paquin) opens up to Alcide (Joe Manganiello). An irate Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) unwittingly puts Sookie’s life in danger. At Authority headquarters, Roman (Christopher Meloni) and Salome (Valentina Cervi) continue interrogating Nora (Lucy Griffiths) about the Sanguinistas – and a possible traitor within the Council. Pam (Kristin Bauer van Straten) forces Tara (Rutina Wesley) to toe the line; Andy (Chris Bauer) and Jason (Ryan Kwanten) go to a burlesque party; Sam’s (Sam Trammell) shifter friends invite him for a run; Terry (Todd Lowe) flashes back to a deadly night in Iraq; Hoyt (Jim Parrack) tests the fangbanger waters; Sookie drowns her sorrows.