'Haven' recap: 'Stay'

Courtesy Syfy
I was positive that Haven was finally getting that zombie infestation that's been going around. Instead, we ended up with a socially-conscious trouble, a lot of exposition and a brand new towns-person to get to know. Let's take a look back at this "very special" episode of Haven.

The Trouble
The episode opens with a ravenous streaker in a convenience store. The naked man is filthy, incoherent and extremely aggressive as he stalks through the unbelievably poorly-lit store, eating everything in sight.

(Seriously, that storeowner needs to change some bulbs or check the wiring, or something; that's the darkest convenience store I've ever seen.)

The clerk, more irritated than anything else, calls the police, while my husband, Thomas, and I just look at each other. "Zombies?" Well, we had aliens last week, so why not? When Audrey and Nathan arrive on the scene, Audrey notices that the man appears to have escaped from chains, and worries that he might be cold.

The two officers decide to give the man a coat, then plan to try to talk to the man to find out if he's troubled, or if there's another problem. However, just as Audrey and Nathan start to calm the man down, the clerk becomes impatient. He's annoyed that the police didn't just bust in and arrest the trespasser, so he tries to apprehend the man himself, and ends up...well, lunch. The crazed man bit out the clerk's jugular, and I have to say, it couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. The "zombie" escapes through a window, while Audrey calls for an ambulance and Nathan vainly tries to stop the clerk's bleeding.

Back at the station, Nathan puts out an APB for the "zombie", which leads the partners to the Magnusson farm. Seems that Tor Magnusson (great name) had a run-in with a crazy, naked guy, and Tor's precious little boy, Liam has lost his dog in the hubbub. Nathan and Audrey investigate the property, following the trail of Jessie the Dog's probable remains all the way to a pile of sleeping naked crazy people. So...not zombies. Nathan refers to them as "cavemen", so let's go with that.

Anyway, Nathan and Audrey decide to block all the exits to the building, and are working on that when Duke calls and tells Audrey that he found a naked crazy person by the river. She tells him to restrain the man, so Duke and Dwight (who has just driven up, conveniently) contain the "caveman" in Dwight's truck. Meanwhile, cute and tiny Liam has managed his way into the "caveman" barn. Nathan and Audrey go in and split up, and Nathan finds the rest of the now-awake "cavemen". The men are trying to clothe themselves, but seem unsure as to what goes where. Audrey finds little Liam, and the two hide from one very aggressive "caveman"--the Alpha-Caveman, if you will--who has caught their scent. As they hide, they discover another "caveman" who seems just as frightened as they are. Audrey sees a bag of cookies nearby and offers one to the grateful "caveman", but has her gun cocked and ready, just in case. Nathan comes to the rescue, tasing the Alpha and shooting another. Audrey and Liam are safe, but the ruckus caused most of the surviving "cavemen" to flee, and scatter throughout Haven. Only the scared "caveman" stayed, and was brought into the station for questioning, and another cookie.

Back at the river, Audrey and Nathan, along with the town shrink, Claire, take a look at Duke and Dwight's "caveman," who is now sitting contently in Dwight's truck. However, when Audrey approaches the truck, the "caveman" rages and breaks the glass, spattering his own blood onto the group, including Duke. Now, as you may recall, Duke's trouble is that he takes on the trouble of any troubled person whose blood touches him (how many times can I write "trouble" in a sentence?), so he, understandably, freaks out. Much to his relief, nothing happens, but that only causes more questions. See, that means that the "cavemen" aren't troubled. So, what are they?

Well, they're not cavemen, and they're not zombies, so now we're back to "crazy naked people". Tests run on the cookie-eating and deceased "crazy naked people" showed large amounts of the tranquilizer dogs are given before being put to sleep. The only person who could prescribe that would be the dog catcher, so the officers head for the animal shelter. There, they find a trashed office and the body of a man in a dog crate. Audrey deduces from the scene that the only way that body could have ended up in that crate would be if the dog inside the crate transformed into a man. There is a trouble, and it's turning the unwanted dogs of Haven into feral men. Really. About this time, Claire finds the body of the dog catcher. His head has been bashed in with a hammer, leading the group to figure out that this was A) not the dog catcher's trouble, B) the work of the dogs/men, and C) the dogs/men are getting smarter because they've learned how to use tools. This is not good news.

Back at the station, Audrey, Nathan, and Claire try to deduce which troubled person could be connected to the dogs transformation. Through records, Nathan learns that the animal remains found on the Magnusson farm weren't Jessie the dog's, because Jessie had already been taken to the animal shelter to be put down. Either Tor or Liam has to be the troubled person behind this event! On the farm, we learn that Jessie had contracted rabies because Tor had not wanted to pay for his shots. Tor admitted to being jealous of Liam's relationship with the dog. Audrey realizes that Tor is the troubled person. He treated his dog like a beast, so the dog became a man. Really.

Claire announces that Liam is missing, and Audrey and Nathan explain that Jessie, the rabid man-dog, most likely took Liam to try to protect him. The problem is that rabies makes dogs demented, and dogs tend to bury things that they want to protect, and Jessie has twenty miles of property and a head start. Plus, it's starting to get dark and cold. The officers, Claire, and Tor, along with an unseen helicopter and backup begin the search for Liam, but the dog-men are working like a pack, with Jessie--you know, that aggressive Alpha-male--in the lead with a gun. Claire tells Audrey that Tor needs to talk to Jessie and apologize for how he treated Jessie in his dog form. Only by treating Jessie with humanity can Tor help Jessie turn back into a dog. Eventually, Tor manages to convince Jessie that he's sorry, and Jessie reverts to his dog form and dies peacefully. Unfortunately, he passed away before showing the group where Liam is hidden. Tor starts to freak out, when, suddenly, a freshly dogified "Cookie" (remember the sweet man-dog?) appears and leads the search party to adorable little Liam. The dogs are all dogs again, the family is reunited, and the trouble has passed. For now.

The moral of the story is to be kind to your fine feathered, furry, and scaly friends. You never know when they might turn into people.

The Colorado Kid

The Brothers Teagues learned that Rosalind (the nice lady who turned out to be dead several hours before she stopped talking to Audrey) was killed by a bolt gun to the head. Apparently, our mystery man is a fan of No Country for Old Men. Later, the brothers find the newspaper office's safe ransacked, with the lock broken by a bolt gun. Duke figured out that "the hunter" is actually a meteor shower that occurs every 27 years, and that Lucy and Sarah (Audrey's past incarnations) disappeared immediately following the last two showers. The next shower is in 46 days.

Now, my sweet hubby pointed out that the mystery man, whose voice is clearly being altered, still kind of sounded like Nathan. I thought he sounded vaguely like the late Chief Wuornos. I mean, it's not like they haven't brought him back from the dead before. Any thoughts?

The Town Gossip
Town psychiatrist, Claire, is introduced because Audrey was abducted and needs insurance-required sessions. Audrey stubbornly refuses, so Claire insists on shadowing Audrey for a day in the field. Throughout the episode, we learn that Claire did her undergrad at Yale, her MD at UConn, and gets all the troubled citizens after Audrey helps them. That makes a lot of sense. If you just found out that your entire family was populated by, oh, I don't know, let's say fish people, wouldn't you need therapy? Honestly, considering Audrey has figured out that she's lived two lives already in Haven, and that all of her memories up until about six months ago actually belonged to someone else, I'd say she could probably use a few sessions on the couch. It does look like these girls are going to be friends. Speaking of friends, Nathan doesn't like that Audrey and Duke are friends. Duke doesn't like that Nathan and Audrey are sort of dating, either, so I guess they're even. Sadly, it looks like Audrey is going to put the kibosh on that budding relationship, anyway, since Duke pointed out the whole disappearing in 46 days thing. Personally, I'm a bit of a Nathan/Audrey (Naudrey?) shipper, so that doesn't make me too happy.

Next Week
Freddy Kreuger!! Okay, not really, but there is a serial killer dispatching folks from within. Really.