Monday, July 25, 2011

'True Blood' recap: Me and the Devil

Sassy at-home critic (and Rental Reviewer) Denise Purvis reviews HBO's vampire soap True Blood each week.

True Blood, recap 4.5: "Me and the Devil"

Dumbass Tommy shouldn’t have listened to his mother. She’s a liar just like the rest of those darned Mickens. Joe Lee looks as gross as ever. I won’t get that image of him in his underwear from last season out of my head.

Oh snap, he killed both of them, but I can’t really say that I blame him. Bye Joe Lee! Bye Melinda! Good call, Tommy. After you murdered almost your whole family you turned to your brother for help in hiding the bodies and nearly got him caught by Sheriff Andy. Good thing you’re a shifter and turned into a gator to get Andy out of there. Shoo! Close call.

Marnie, Marnie, Marnie. Lafayette is so damn funny especially since he consulted the former '90s hip-hop group Kris Kross for hair advice.

La-la to Marnie: “Hooker you pissed off another goddamn vampire and then took a nap… This dog ate my homework shit don’t really fly with vampires, because they smell that shit and then eat you like pot pie.”

I don’t know what Antonia/Marnie did to Pam, but she looks pretty rough.

Arlene, Terry, and that baby, oh and Arlene’s camouflage.

“Apparently my prayers go to his voicemail.”

Is anyone else starting to think that maybe it’s NOT the baby that is evil and maybe it’s just the doll? It’s crossed my mind once or twice. Damn you Summer/Maxine for potentially hoaxing that creepy baby doll! And damn you Jessica for giving it to Arlene’s baby! (Well, that is if it actually is the creepy baby doll that’s responsible for the evil.)

Godric is doing a little inappropriate touching of Sookie. How did he come back? Dream sequence? Damn it, they always lure me in with a dream sequence. I guess Eric is getting his memory back. I like how Eric is showing his softer side. Aww. He’s precious. Sookie’s night shirt is not. I knew it was just a matter of time before Sookie and Eric started bedding up.

Who leaves someone half dead at home alone? Jessica is not very responsible. Good thing Hoyt volunteered to stay with him. Jason’s going to end up all PTSD.

Jason on Crystal: “It ended up with me getting violated in a shack.”

Hoyt on Jessica: “Her whole body is tensing up like she’s getting a cavity filled.”

He’s going to turn into a werepanther tomorrow. Duh-duh-duhhhhh! I knew that Jessica shouldn’t have given him her blood. Hello, sexual fantasies!

Tara’s mom and her wig are back. Did she marry the preacher? You can’t make a whore into a housewife. Why in the hell would Arlene get Lettie Mae Thornton to bless her house? She had an affair with the preacher and married him. Man, that new wig is something special.

Sookie is trying to be all slick and find out about the witches. Good thing she can read minds. Sorry Holly. Sorry Marnie. Now Gran is talking to Sookie through Marnie. They really did go all Ghost up in this piece. I love Gran’s accent. Speaking of Marnie, Katarina just entrapped Marnie for the vampires. They need to kill that beyotch already! Turns out that Bill can’t do much with Marnie since she doesn’t know shit.

“Convene your Sheriffs so we can kill this uppity Wiccan c---. Your majesty.”

Bill and his sheriffs’ history lesson. Pam, girl, keep that veil on. Pam spilled the beans about Eric. Damn it, Pam. I guess she lost her damn mind along with her ear!

Smaller bites:
  • Jesus’ flashback is a little on the scary side. What the hell is going on with Lafayette’s head? I think a trip out to see his padre might be a bad idea. Then again, what isn’t a bad idea on this show?
  • Tara’s lesbian lover busted her. Tara confesses her lesbianism to Sookie, and Sookie pretends to be shocked. Is she blind?
  • Tommy and Sam sunk the dead Mickens and lured out the gators with marshmallows. Who even knew alligators liked marshmallows? Maybe those damn witches won’t re-animate the Mickens. (Shudders at thought ...)
  • Side note: If you kill a shifter that’s in your family then you can shift into a human. According to Luna in 4.02, right? Hmmm, Tommy. This has some future interesting story possibilities.
  • Is the pack master that showed up at Alcide’s door Luna’s former lover? I’m guessing so. HAHAHA. He looks more like a Lost Boy than a damn wolf! Why are the wolves on here so greasy?

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