'The Walking Dead' recap: 'When The Dead Come Knocking'

Merle destroys ol' Glenn. Courtesy AMC

BY DENISE PURVIS

In this week's The Walking Dead, Merle and Glenn don’t get along, and I just can’t imagine why. I mean there was that whole thing from season one where they left Merle on the roof and made him cut off his own hand. Then there was that thing this season where Merle captured Glenn and Maggie to force them into saying where Daryl and the rest of the group was holed up.

Glenn obviously has enough sense not to tell Merle anything. (Never trust a man with a bayonet for an arm.)

'Walking Dead' recap: 'Killer Within'

Taking a bite out of T-Dog. Courtesy AMC

BY DENISE PURVIS

I am going to go ahead and apologize that I have not broken this episode up by the
characters like I usually do. There was entirely too much going on with a lot of skipping around. I can easily say that short of the episode where Rick killed Shane, this was the best episode yet.

So the zombies will eat animals if you leave them out for them, and who left that heart
out there? It’s only five seconds in, and I demand answers!

'The Walking Dead' recap: 'Walk With Me'

The Governor's post-killing spree speech, courtesy AMC

BY DENISE PURVIS


I always watch the previous week's episode of The Walking Dead before the new one. I am reminded what a selfish, spoiled character Lori is from watching the end of last week’s episode.

Pick me, choose me, love me, kill my lover and your best friend, wait, why did you kill him? Ehhhh, can we talk about our relationship? Me, me, me!

Enough about that.

Michonne and Andrea

Michonne and Andrea witness a helicopter crash. Andrea is barfing all over the place. There’s a lot more people alive than I previously thought. Initially it’s not clear what the purpose was of the governor rummaging the helicopter wreckage.

'The Walking Dead' recap: 'Sick'

One legged Hershel is on the move, courtesy AMC

BY DENISE PURVIS

We start this episode of The Walking Dead with Hershel bleeding out. I know; it’s completely surprising that a person would nearly bleed to death after you hack their leg off with an ax. I am still not convinced that chopping his leg off is going to make him not turn into a zombie.

The prisoners confront the gang, and I’m thinking that if they’re in prison, they’re probably not too terribly nice. They have been locked in the cafeteria for 292 or 294 days (depending on which guy you ask), and they have no idea about the gravity of the zombie apocalypse.

'The Walking Dead' Season Three premiere recap

Maggie spots an armored zombie, courtesy AMC

BY DENISE PURVIS


As I sit here watching the last episode of The Walking Dead season two, I keep thinking about how everything is pretty much Carl’s fault. I know it seems like a cop out to blame the demise of a lot of people on a child, but his series of actions (or inaction) are pretty much what spiraled the whole zombie affair out of control.

Let's review, shall we:

Carl is the reason Otis got killed.
Carl is the reason that Dale is dead.
Carl is the reason that Shane is dead - well, the second time at least.
Carl caused global warming (just you wait and see).

Enough about Carl. It is season three premiere time...

Happy Valentine's Day, zombie style

I am not one to like cutesy Valentine's Day cards (or really Valentine's Day anything), but I came across a website that had some Paranormal Pop Culture-worthy printable cards. Over at Quinky Art, Elliot Quince is sharing the zombie-themed V-cards for your living and undead loved ones.

Although Quince doesn't mind you using these cards for personal use, please don't use them for any commercial gain.
- Denise Purvis

'True Blood' recap: Me and the Devil

Sassy at-home critic (and Rental Reviewer) Denise Purvis reviews HBO's vampire soap True Blood each week.

True Blood, recap 4.5: "Me and the Devil"

Dumbass Tommy shouldn’t have listened to his mother. She’s a liar just like the rest of those darned Mickens. Joe Lee looks as gross as ever. I won’t get that image of him in his underwear from last season out of my head.

Oh snap, he killed both of them, but I can’t really say that I blame him. Bye Joe Lee! Bye Melinda! Good call, Tommy. After you murdered almost your whole family you turned to your brother for help in hiding the bodies and nearly got him caught by Sheriff Andy. Good thing you’re a shifter and turned into a gator to get Andy out of there. Shoo! Close call.

Marnie, Marnie, Marnie. Lafayette is so damn funny especially since he consulted the former '90s hip-hop group Kris Kross for hair advice.

La-la to Marnie: “Hooker you pissed off another goddamn vampire and then took a nap… This dog ate my homework shit don’t really fly with vampires, because they smell that shit and then eat you like pot pie.”

'True Blood' recap: I’m Alive and On Fire

Sassy at-home critic (and Rental Reviewer) Denise Purvis reviews HBO's vampire soap True Blood each week.

True Blood, recap 4.4: "I'm Alive and On Fire"

Two words for this week: Yum, yum. Eric and Alcide are shirtless and bickering. What can I say? I’m a sucker for hot, shirtless men. I seriously thought I was going to catch a glimpse of Alcide’s mini-wolf, but alas, no.

Sookie tells Eric that they’re sitting ducks after he eats her fairy godmother Claudine. He’s seems drunk off of fairy blood. Again, I LOVE this side of Eric. She had to get Alcide to help her track him down and Eric is out frolicking in the daylight because he sucked Claudine dry. Good thing they found him because he was getting a bit crisp. I loved the tiff between Alcide and Eric. Eric is drunk as a skunk, and Sook calls him a Crazy Viking. (Almost as good as calling him a psychotic frat boy.)

“Alcide, stop making that noise”

'True Blood' recap: If You Love Me, Why Am I Dyin'?

Sassy at-home critic (and Rental Reviewer) Denise Purvis reviews HBO's vampire soap True Blood each week.

True Blood, recap 4.3: "If You Love Me, Why Am I Dyin'?"

Eric is dazed from last week’s witch coven meeting. He doesn’t remember who he is, what she is and so she scoots off in her Civic and he bum rushes her and ... Insert opening credits here. DAMNIT.

And then Eric calls her Snooki. Are we making a Jersey Shore reference here? He realizes that Marnie has some power. So Sookie is going to have to offer Eric some protection.

Marnie is playing the tortured soul card, but Tara says it best, “It’s been a while since I’ve been attacked by a vampire and guess what ... it still sucks.” Lafayette tells the coven, “Eric Northman is 1,000 years old. Ain’t no police that can touch him.”

Do I sense a vampire-human war coming soon?

'True Blood' recap: 'You Smell Like Dinner'

Sassy at-home critic (and Rental Reviewer) Denise Purvis reviews HBO's vampire soap True Blood each week.

True Blood, recap 4.2: "You Smell Like Dinner"

Fade in to Jason chained to a bed in Methville. Those kids/people are so creepy. One of the kids is cleaning Jason’s head wound by licking it. Hello hepatitis!

Jason: “I’m more of a Band-Aid kind of guy.”

Well, those skanky little kids do seem to like Jason a lot, so it makes sense that the whole beating-and-tying-to-an-old-pee-stained-bed-scheme is brother/ uncle/cousin/fiancé Felton’s doing.

Meanwhile, Eric is landlording over Sook’s house.

Eric: “Funny about ownership isn’t it?—a little piece of paper and the only power you had over me is gone.”

'True Blood' recap: 'She's Not There'

Sassy at-home critic (and Rental Reviewer) Denise Purvis reviews HBO's vampire soap True Blood each week.

True Blood, recap 4.1: "She's Not There"

It has been nearly a year since we’ve visited Bon Temps and I feel like I need a T-shirt to commemorate our last visit like, “I went to Louisiana and all I got was this nasty bite mark.”

When we left many moons ago, Sookie revoked Bill’s privileges to enter her house, Russell was embedded in concrete, Sophie Anne and Bill were about to have it out, Sam shot Tommy and Tara rode off into the sunset with her new curl activator.

Now onto new business.

Sookie beams into a fairy land to discover mysterious Claudine is her fairy godmother. All around her, it would appear pseudo fairies like Sook are walking around with pure-bloods. Barry the bellboy from Season Two resurfaces as a new recruit to the land of the fae (I knew something was up with that guy; they surely waited a long time to reveal that secret.)