'The Walking Dead' Season Three premiere recap

Maggie spots an armored zombie, courtesy AMC
BY DENISE PURVIS


As I sit here watching the last episode of The Walking Dead season two, I keep thinking about how everything is pretty much Carl’s fault. I know it seems like a cop out to blame the demise of a lot of people on a child, but his series of actions (or inaction) are pretty much what spiraled the whole zombie affair out of control.

Let's review, shall we:

Carl is the reason Otis got killed.
Carl is the reason that Dale is dead.
Carl is the reason that Shane is dead - well, the second time at least.
Carl caused global warming (just you wait and see).

Enough about Carl. It is season three premiere time...

I love it when they start the episodes with zombies. The time has progressed a good bit from the end of season two. Lori is looking very round. Just think about a bowling ball with stick legs.

So, the gang has lost the farm and obviously they’re out scavenging for some food.

Daryl obviously wants to go for the kill and eat the owl. Carl goes for the cat food. Rick ain’t having that, y’all.

Carol/Daryl


Now let’s talk about Daryl and Carol. They better not be making any babies. Carol is
horny, Daryl! If we’ve learned anything from the Lori/Shane/Rick love saga, it’s that you better have safe sex, or you’ll bring a baby into a zombie infested world.

Rick


They accidentally stumble upon the prison, and Rick is clearly drunk on his own power, but it seems to be working. You can’t ignore that smile. Lori is being her usual whiny self and wants to talk to Carl about what I am assuming is going to happen when that baby pops out looking like Shane. His response: "I'm doing stuff, Lori. Things." He can’t talk about the baby right now! If it comes out looking like Shane, we might have a problem though.

So, the prison. They get into the grounds, sing a little kumbaya, hang out, then finally penetrate the prison.

I dig the gross zombies this season. My favorite so far has to be the one where Rick
pulls the mask off and the skin comes off with it.

Michonne


She’s set up a place for herself in the Sportsman’s Deer Cooler. We finally get to see Andrea who is looking a little worse for the wear. The two zombies on chains that we caught a glimpse of at the end of last season are still around. They’re jawless and armless, so they make perfect companions (and great pack mules). I’m sure they give less lip than Andrea.

Lori


C Block looks like a nice place for Lori to give birth. Home sweet home in the pen.

Later on she reveals to Hershel that the baby might be still born. She does have a valid point. If the baby is dead inside of her and everyone carries the walker illness, then it’s probably going to go ahead and chew itself out of her. Good thing we have Hershel around to be the voice of reason and to deliver the little creeper.

...Wait, I spoke, er, typed a little too soon, maybe?

Hershel


Buddy, how can we say it? You were a good guy. You didn’t deserve to get your
leg gnawed on by that walker. And sweet Jesus, there’s nothing quite as bad as
having to get your leg hacked off by Rick with an axe. Compared to all of the awful
zombie slayings over the past two seasons - and trust me, we’ve seen all sorts of
ways to dismantle a zombie’s brain - nothing was quite as horrendous as seeing Rick
chopping away at Hershel’s leg.

I am not quite sure what he’s thinking there, but if the whole, "chop the body part off that got infected" thing worked, I’m sure there would be a lot less zombies floating around. I don’t think things are looking too good for Hershel.

Sinking My Teeth In


By the time we reach the end of the show, we find out that there are other survivors
other than our usual gang, Michonne, and Andrea. There’s obviously going to be a huge
unraveling with the Governor in the upcoming episodes.

Other than what we don’t know, we do know this:

  • As we reported, there were a lot more zombies than what we've previously seen in season one.
  • Armored zombies require a little more ingenuity to kill.
  • Never trust a lounging zombie.
  • Carl has become significantly less annoying than he has been in previous seasons, and he’s actually becoming quite handy with the weapon (and developing a crush on Beth?).
  • Glenn is still a loverboy and stupidly volunteering for tasks.
  • Maggie is a real badass in season three. I am thinking that her sweaty/greasy hair is really fueling her hate machine.
  • T-Dog is still alive, and actually seems pretty cool so far with more killing action.
  • Lori is still Lori. Let’s hope that after she shoots that baby out (or it gnaws its way out), she’ll be more helpful and a little less whiny (or gone).
  • Andrea is sick, but I don’t think it’s zombie bite sick. Maybe she caught some weird illness from sleeping in a deer processing plant.
  • You have to admit that it’s pretty sweet of Michonne to go and get Andrea’s sickly self some Aspirin.