Bon Temps Rising

Hey You! This is a **SPOILER**

Good thing Eric pulled a Felicity and cut that mane of his, because things are gonna’ be smoking hot in Bon Temps this August if HBO’s recently released loglines are any indication.

Sickened with True Blood blues after Sunday’s no-show? See our take on HBO’s plots for some major bloodletting.

“Release Me,” 8/2: The Stackhouses are in major F.O.T.S. trubs when Jason pulls a major Newlins no-no (Jason and Sarah sitting in a tree/ S-T-A-K-I-N-G?) and Sookie is imprisoned. Nearby, Bill is detained in a hotel with an obsessed captor. Back in the BT, Maryann is ruling shizz, and after a Daphne betrayal, Sam finds himself in quite the pickle with her it Maryann.

“Timebomb,” 8/9: Sam makes a nasty discovery at Merlotte’s, and it’s not the food. (Hold the boos. Seriously. You would never eat there.) Jessica and Hoyt work out some bedroom kinks, and Jason pays off some vamp debt. Maryann cooks up a feast for Tara and Eggs that has “unexpected” results. As if anything that happens at Chateau Maryann is “expected.”

“I Will Rise Up,” 8/16: Sookie’s dealt a wildcard as a wounded Eric manages to get inside her head—although HBO is vague about in what sense—and Bill is all, “Are you serious?” Lafayette and Tara’s crazy momma think Eggs is rotten, and the duo plots to steal her from Maryann. Sam, jailed in an increasingly chaotic Bon Temps, stages a breakout, but Maryann don’t play that.

“New World in My View,” 8/23: Bill, Jason and Sookie return to the BT (it seems our trio spends most of August out of town) to find it’s turned upside down by Maryann’s shenanigans. A group of “blood-thirsty revelers” (but are they vamps?) is trolling town, and Sam and Bellefleur seek refuge. Bill discovers his go-to tactics don’t work on Maryann.

“Frenzy,” 8/30: With Bon Temps nearing nuclear meltdown, Bill goes straight to the top, introducing Evan-Rachel Wood’s turn as Sophie-Anne, the vampire queen of Louisiana. Sookie and Lafayette are busy trying to protect Tara, and Sam turns to an unlikely source for help.

So, are you excited about what’s in store, Trubies? Or are you fretting about a multi-epi arc that has our dear Sookie and Bill everywhere but Bon Temps?