'True Blood' recap: 'I Got a Right to Sing the Blues'

At-home critic (and Rental Reviewer) Denise Purvis reviews HBO's vampire soap True Blood each week.

True Blood, S3, ep. 6: 'I Got a Right to Sing the Blues'

Like last week, a lot of tonight’s action took place at King Russell’s Mississippi mansion. This was a week for bloodletting and cowboying up. Many of the characters channeled their pathos into a kickass strength.

But it all began with Sookie and Bill being hauled into Russell’s house. Russell notes he’s finally found out Bill’s true character, and Mr. Compton responds by finally growing a pair and staking one of Russell’s goons. The pile of goo the vampire is reduced to looked like a pile of organs and gristle. Delish!

I don’t know, but the whole exchange where Russell and Eric referred to Sookie as “it” made me more than giggle. Eric said, “I wouldn’t let go of this. I don’t know what it is, but it’s quite valuable.” But I’m not buying Eric’s unaffected attitude towards Sook as has to pretend he doesn’t care for her to exact revenge on Russell (for probably killing Eric’s Viking fam).

Lorena, Lorena, Lorena. This was her week for emoting. Russell commands Lo to kill Bill and Sook threatens to kill her if she touches him. "Oh please, please try,” says Lorena. “Without that sanctimonious little prick Godric to save you, I would just love to rip you open and wear your ribcage as a hat."

Hey, that’s not nice, Lorena. I love(d) Godric.

Russ, trying to get answers about her blammo-light powers, indulges Sook in a game of 20 questions. He asks, “What are you?” She asks about Bill. Sookie wasn’t asking very good questions (Are you the king od all vampires? Do you have a crown?), and Russell got bored with it. He tells her “there’s a fine line between feisty and delusional.” But Russell does reveal Bill has been keeping a file on Sookie’s family.

Relocated to some slave’s quarters on the king’s property, Lorena whips out an assortment of surgical tools and goes to work torturing Bill. Some really good dialogue (and a lot of blood) flowed between them as they spoke about their history together and how it all went wrong. I wasn’t sure if Bill was trying to sweet talk Lorena or if he genuinely meant that he hates how there’s only darkness in her eyes now, but man, she’s one twisted bitty. In the end, Bill told Lorena so and accused her of being just liker her maker (you’ve become your parents?). To get back at him, she lets the white trash were-couple Coot and Deb feed on Bill until he’s nearly bled dry.

On the Franklin front, the psychotic vampire detective throws a hissy fit when his soon-to-be vampire bride Tara doesn’t notice he shaved for her. Tara continues manipulating Frankie by acting into him while she hatches a plot. She gets him riled up for some crazy sex and convinces him to share his blood with her while she’s still human. The catch? Franklin makes her tear into him with her own teeth (cue bloody, gory flesheating).

Words exchanged between Tara and Franklin in the sexcapade: Kinky. F----d up.  Crazy. Taste me. Drink me. Feed on me. Kill me.

Yeah, that’s some weird stuff.

During the hook-up, Tara instant-brain messages Sookie (she found out they were in the house earlier) and tells her they’re getting the hell out of dodge in the A.M. Tara’s good for her word and bashes Franklin’s head in with a mace while he naps after sex.

Tara’s transformation into a badass progresses as she and Sookie tag team Patrick Swayze’s were-brother. On their way out of the mansion, in the daylight now, Sook decides to hunt for Bill. And let me tell you, Tara is right that Sookie is an idiot to go back for Bill. But Sookie has never been the brightest crayon.

On their way off the property, Tara meets good guy werewolf Alcide, who is on a rescue mission for Sookie. Speaking of Sookie, she finds half-dead Billy boy and promises him she’ll get him well. She doesn’t quite get a chance to deliver on the promise since stupid Sookie gets caught and bitten by Lorena. And from the looks of next week’s episode, she’s going to be on death’s door.

Back in Bon Temps, Jason is rolling around in the grass with Crystal. She gets a whiff of the air and senses some sort of danger and leaves Jason alone in the woods. My question is: Why doesn’t Jason see a bullet hole in Crystal’s head? Maybe they’re finally over the whole bullet hole bit. A bit later in the show we find out she’s engaged with a skanky meth head. She pretends not to know Jason and sends him packing from her shack. Straight from the meth head’s mouth: Naughty word rhymes with witch “already said she ain’t know you.” Now, go on Jason.

At Merlotte’s, Arlene accidentally cuts her finger and Jessica’s fangs come out. Arlene provides comedic relief to the other redhead and says, “Please don’t kill me. I’m pregnant … That probably just makes you want to eat me even more!”

Arlene later reveals to Jessica she’s been stiffed by her customers all night and you can’t help but giggle as we remember the young vamp glamoured all of them last week to do exactly that. Well, this week they’re dealing with a difficult customer in curlers keeping them open after hours. Jessica, who hasn’t eaten yet, feels good old-fashioned human sympathy for Arlene and decides to kill two birds with one stone. She glamours curlers and instructs her to stop eating, leave all her money on the table for Arlene and then retire to the bathroom – where Jess can then have a little snack.

But the real point of the scene: To re-affirm Merlotte’s isn’t a classy joint like Red Lobster.

Smaller bites:

  • Eric cozies up to Russ, and flirts shamelessly with him (still in that powder-blue v-neck), to earn his trust. Eric will likely use Russ long enough to save Pam, kill the magister – then find a way to take him out.
  • Russell finally convinces Sophie Anne to marry him in exchange for settling her IRS problems. I guess being married to a gay king is better than scratching off Deuce’s Wild lotto tickets for the rest of your life.
  • Ohhhh Eric, PLEASE choke slam Sophie Ann again. I love his threat: “I will rip your head off and throw it in the pool. And I will have fun doing it.” He doesn’t do it, but instead opts for renouncing her as his queen (between Bill and now Eric, Russ has been racking up subjects lately).
  • Mama Mickens cooks up some corn fritters fried in bacon grease for Sam so she could get Tommy alone. We finally find out what Joe Lee is doing with Tommy … dog fighting? Doesn’t Joe Lee watch the news? He’s going to turn out like Michael Vick.
  • Jesus bails from their make-out session and date after he finds out Lafayette deals V.
  • Talbot gets pissy at Russell for never taking him anywhere, and for stealing his new playmate Eric away. A character that initially appeared to be a comedic stereotype is really evolving into the vamp to watch.