'True Blood' recap: 'Authority Always Wins'

Meloni as Roman, courtesy HBO

The second episode of True Blood Season Five helps to clear up some questions from last week’s episode, and we get to meet the sexy, but anger-challenged, Guardian of the Authority, Roman (Christopher Meloni). Things are moving slowly but surely, so put on your Walmart sweatsuit and grab a warm bottle of Tru Blood because there are quite a few story lines to recap!

The episode starts exactly where the last one left off. Tara (Rutina Wesley) is a stark-raving baby vamp who acts like one of the zombies in 28 Days Later. She has a terrified Sookie (Anna Paquin) pinned against a tree and when Lafayette (Nelsen Ellis) tries to rescue her, he gets thrown. Pam (Kristin Bauer van Straten) is amused and just stands there enjoying the show. After Tara bites Sookie, Pam commands Tara to not bite Sookie and Lafayette. Pam can’t be bothered with this whole scene. Tara continues to zip around like a hummingbird on crack. She’s exhausting, already!

Tonight we get to see the Authority headquarters in New Orleans and meet some new friends. Nora (Lucy Griffiths), Bill (Stephen Moyer), and Eric (Alexander Skarsgard) are handcuffed and taken to “reception." Salome (Valentina Cervi) is angry at Nora for jeopardizing her career by saving them, but Nora assures Salome that Bill and Eric are more valuable to the Authority if left alive.

The trio are later thrown into silver prison cells and are roomies with a newborn-eating doc who seems to know the ropes. Lying is not an option and punishments are severe. For example, UV lights are turned on them or silver is injected into your veins. We also get a religious lesson about the Original Testament, or the Vampire Bible, by the Nazi-like Dieter Braun (Christopher Heyerdahl). According to this predecessor to the Old and New Testament, Lilith was created by God. Vampires, not humans, were created in God’s image. Adam and Eve were created as nourishment for vampires. Bill does not believe in this literal translation which also means that vamps and humans should have no emotional alliances. He lies and says that he hasn’t consorted with humans and gets a dose of silver.

Meanwhile Eric is also being interrogated and is hooked up to the same silver-injecting device as Bill. They are being played against each other for the truth about who killed Authority member, Nan (Jessica Tuck). Eric is also lied to about Nora meeting the true death and is told that Bill has been freed and is still king. Eric says “Long live the king” and is silvered. Looks painful! Kinda sweet how Bill and Eric are buds now, isn’t it? This story line is a bit complicated if you ask me though. Maybe it's all the politics and religious overtones? What do you think?

Back in Bon Temps at the grossest funeral repast ever, Marcus tartare is being served. Since Alcide (Joe Manganiello) killed Marcus the pack leader (Daniel Buran), he is now the leader and therefore should take part in the feast. Alcide is not hungry and the pack turns on him. Marcus’s mama, Martha (Dale Dickey) admits that Marcus was not perfect but that he deserves respect so, eat up! Alcide leaves and thinks he’ll take a fellow wolf’s advice to go back to Mississippi. Luna (Janina Gavankar) helps the injured Sam (Sam Trammell) walk away and head back to Luna’s.

Martha knocks on Luna’s door and wants to see her granddaughter, Emma. Luna is not having any part of it, even though Emma might be a wolf and could use the comfort of having a pack. Martha apologizes to Sam for his troubles and leaves after being verbally bitch-slapped by Luna. Sam actually sticks up for Martha’s idea and Luna kicks him out too. Poor Sam. Later in the episode, Luna hears a commotion in Emma’s room. When Luna opens the door the cutest little wolf-pup you ever did see is sitting there. Luna ain’t too pleased her daughter is a wolf, not a shifter.

So what do you all think of the Arlene, Terry, Patrick storyline? Boring? So far at least, but it’ll probably pick up. Arlene (Carrie Preston) wakes to find her husband Terry (Todd Lowe) standing over their bed in a trance as he utters “We’re all gonna die, they’re coming for us.” She’s obviously disturbed, slaps him and he comes out of his dream state and goes back to bed. He has another episode when cooking at Merlott’s and there’s a flare up. He accidentally shoves Arlene and she goes flying. She wants to know what’s the deal. He gets upset and storms off. Arlene later visits Terry’s war bud, Patrick (Scott Foley) and tells him of Terry’s episodes. Patrick tells her that nothing happened while on duty. Liar. Terry shows up and Patrick explains that she’s there looking for answers. After she leaves, Terry reveals that one of their platoon members is not dead and is probably the pyro setting the fires. They have a new mission to find him.

Back at Sookie’s, Tara is still zipping around and wrecking gram’s kitchen and Sookie tells her that she has to eat. Lafayette gets her some Tru Blood but Tara just attacks him, screams and continues her tirade. Sookie is concerned because the sun will be up soon and Tara needs to get to Eric’s cubby. Lafayette lures her by cutting himself and letting her drink his blood while Sookie silvers her into submission.

While Tara naps, Sookie goes to the Stake House for some Tara-taming supplies. In the background, the show's new comic relief, Rev. Steve Newlin (Michael McMillian) is on the television talking about how “Jesus loves vampires.” The shop owner says some unkind things but then suggests some products for Sookie to try, such as a collodial silver mister (Vamp Mace?) or a big ass gun/harpoon. She goes with the silver and installs them on her porch.

As Tara lie sleeping, Lafayette’s guilt takes over and he is about to stake Tara. Sookie pleads with him that “it’ll get better” and that it’s difficult in the beginning when vamps turn. He hands over the stake. When Tara wakes up, she finally talks and expresses that she’s not a happy vamper. She runs out of the house and despite the silver shower, she busts through. This can’t be good.

So how did Pam and Eric meet? Well this episode starts to clear that up for us. Pam is still looking for her maker and while freshening up from her dirt nap back at Fangtasia, she flashes back to early in the 20th century when she was a madam and discovers one of her prostitutes was killed by a vampire. Later, when she’s in her coffin, she dreams about her first Eric encounter. She is walking home and gets attacked in the street in a Jack the Ripper-like manner. Eric swoops in and murders her would-be assailant. She seems more intrigued than frightened and Eric notices this. He even offers to pay for her bloodied dress to be cleaned. He then vanishes.

There’s some more Jason (Ryan Kwanten) and Sheriff Andy (Chris Bauer) bonding going on. Andy tells Jason that he had sex with Holly (Lauren Bowles) but that she’s now ignoring him. Jason says that this is not such a bad thing. They then find Debbie Pelt’s (Brit Morgan) vehicle and Andy finds a vile of V inside. At first he pockets it but then he turns it over to Jason who spills the V out. Now why is Debbie’s car there?

Later at the station, Jason is amused by pro-vamp Rev. Steve talking on the television about how he’s found God’s true light in the darkness. The judge’s son’s ticket that was mentioned last episode was also brought up and the officer who dealt it can’t believe Andy wants it expunged. Maybe there is more to this? Then, in walks a disgruntled young man who attacks Jason for breaking up his parent’s marriage. We find out the obvious, that Jason has had sex with almost every female in Bon Temps. Andy tells Jason to stay away from Holly.

While Bill is away, Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll) continues to play! Luckily she’s having another party because we get to see Rev. Steve shake his booty. It’s actually pretty hilarious. The party-goers recognize him and tell him “You were a dick before you were a vamp.” He knows. But why is he there? He’s there to buy Jason from Jessica and after some negotiating and Steve getting excited at the thought of Jason’s hardness, Jessica retracts her offer and throws him out. Her friends can’t be bought! Party’s over!

Speaking of Jason and how his hardness gets him into trouble. He heads over to Mrs. Fortenberry’s (Dale Raoul) to ask for scorned friend Hoyt’s (Jim Parrack) forgiveness and to come live with him so he doesn’t have to live with his crazy mama. Hoyt refuses and kicks him out. Lots of F-bombs are dropped and Mrs. F. feigns anger at Jason. She then secretly thanks Jason for breaking up Hoyt and Jessica. Jason is getting a pie!

Okay, big scene time. Back at the Authority, we get to meet the big cheese. His name is Roman Zimojic and he’s on a mission to keep the mainstreaming agenda working seamlessly. He starts the meeting a bit dramatically by siphoning his blood into a fancy medicine dropper and feeding it to his committee while reciting, “The first. The last. The eternal.” It’s supposed to represent Lilith’s blood. Bill, Eric and Nora are there and handcuffed. Roman wants to know what happened with Nan and if they were ever members of the Sanguinista Movement. Bill doesn’t know what this is. The counsel isn’t buying Bill and Eric’s story and think they should meet the true death. Bill offers an exchange. Their lives for Russell Edgington (Denis O’Hare). The other members and Roman thought he was dead and Bill explains that the true death was too good for Russell. After some dramatics, Roman agrees that Russell must be stopped.

Where is Russell? Remember that quick scene last week when the man was dragged into a room and blood splattered on the door window? He’s in there, feasting on bodies and recuperating his looks and power like a nightmarish scene out of Hellraiser. He’s such a monster. We love it though.

Next week: ”Whatever I Am, You Made Me." Be there at 9 p.m. ET/PT on HBO.