'Walking Dead' recap: 'I Ain't A Judas'

Andrea's Walker bait into the prison. Courtesy AMC

First off, let me apologize for the delay. Perhaps I shouldn’t admit this, but Sunday night I watched the Oscars. Boo! Hiss!

We left off last week with Rick being insane in the membrane after the Governor’s attack. Hershel also thinks that they should get the hell out of dodge, but since Merle knows the Governor better than anyone else at the camp, he lets them know that the Governor has no qualms with killing them all by starving them out if necessary.

Everyone knows that Rick is losing his mind and no one faults him for it, but Hershel lets him know that he needs to get his shit together. Hershel has only one leg and is pretty pissed at Rick for putting his family’s lives in his hands.

Rick and Carl stare at the walkers from the guard tower. Since Carl knows that the his dad is nutso, he says that he needs to stop being the leader and take a rest. (aka Daddy’s bonkers. Let’s let Darryl and Hershel handle everything since they don’t see dead people and talk to the air.) Again, this is just a suggestion, but maybe Rick should take a nap. I never see him sleep, ever.

Back at Woodbury, the Governor rallies his troops and makes every resident 13 and up enlist for his janky army including a 14 year-old. Andrea, being her generally whiny self, tries to plead with him to let her go see Rick and the gang at the prison. The Governor likes getting some loving from her, but he’s not putting up with that, so he tells her that if she leaves she better not come back.

Glenn is still unpleased with Merle’s presence. He proposes that they use Merle as a bargaining chip with the Governor for a truce. He doesn’t know the Governor very well.

Hershel stands up for Merle saying that he’s good for them since he has military experience. Then he ends up having a heart-to-heart with Merle as Merle duct tapes a knife back to his bayonet arm. Merle lets Hershel know that the Governor is a Grade-A psycho and will kill everyone off so that Rick sees them all die.

Carol comes lurking around Daryl to let him know that she’s happy that he’s back. I wish she would just lay a big old smooch on him already. She voices to Daryl that Merle might not be the best influence on him.

Andrea asks the Governor’s lackey, Milton, to help her get out of Woodbury and head to the prison. Since Milton is a little bee-och, he immediately goes to the Governor and tells him of her plans. The Governor gives Milton the go-ahead to help Andrea.

Andrea takes a page out of Michonne’s play book and uses a toothless/armless walker to accompany her. She and Milton rip a walker’s teeth out and remove its arms. Whilst doing that, they run into Ty and company. Milton takes them back to Woodbury.

Andrea shows up at the prison and Rick roughs her up a little bit while he "searches her." They all seem wary of her since they thought that she was dead, but then found out that she has been banging their arch enemy. Rick doesn’t trust Andrea. I don’t blame him since she has the stench of Governor all over her.

She thinks that Michonne has poisoned them all with misinformation about her. Um, girl, I think that they don’t like you because you kept boning the guy that tried to kill them like six days after they escaped from Woodbury. She wants Rick’s gang to live in Woodbury. That’s the WORST idea she had since she thought it was a good idea to have sex with the Governor.

Michonne explains to Andrea that she went back to Woodbury to show her how awful the Governor was and that she knew it would hurt her. Andrea looks stupefied.

Ty’s group explains that they ran into Rick’s group and everyone, but Rick is okay. And that he’s a total psycho. Ty explains that they will do what they need to earn their keep.

Andrea’s womb starts twitching when she holds Little Asskicker, so she decides to go and get the seed of the Governor planted in her. Just kidding, I don’t know if he knocked her up or not, but she does return to Woodbury to bang him.

Amy serenades the group while Rick informs Darryl that he’s taking Carl and Michonne on a run. I wonder what they’re up to...

Rick supplies her with a car so that she can stab the Governor in the back right after rocking his world. The unfortunate thing is that she’s not able to kill him. She could have ended it there, but whomp whomp.

Sinking my teeth in:

  • Glenn is still sporting that black eye, and the Governor still has a giant oozing wound where his eye used to be. The passage of time is clearly much slower on the show than it is in my head.
  • It’s clear that Milton is a bee-och because when he saw that zombie, he was screaming for Andrea like a little girl.
  • Speaking of the aforementioned zombie, how come it took so long for them to chop that thing’s arms off when sometimes their heads bash in like a rotten peach?
  • Carl’s binoculars are amazing.
  • Andrea asks about Lori and Shane, but doesn’t mention T-Dog. Don’t worry, Carol’s got you covered.
  • Daryl calls the Governor Phillip. Blam!
  • Carol has to explain to Andrea that Rick had to kill Shane because he was in love with Lori, you know, plus he tried to kill Rick.
  • Do you think the eye patch does it for Andrea?