Friday, October 16, 2015

'Sleepy Hollow' Recap: 'Blood and Fear'

Photo courtesy

Due to technical difficulties, lack of any short term memory and life in general, I can't remember much about last week so we'll just say that stuff happened and go from there. Abbie might have had a fling at Quantico and Crane might be a bit jealous and Jenny might be bringing Joe Corbin on board Team Witness. The second tribulation is underway so let's do this.

Pandora's being creepy, talking to herself again. Girlfriend needs to get out of the sewer for a bit; might cheer her up but no, she wants, nay, needs the fear of the Witnesses. And a sacrificial knife. As one does.

Crane pontificates and speechifies on what this country was founded on. It's all very moving but you still aren't getting the artifacts unless a US citizen signs for them. Crane, just give Abbie the damn form, she has to get to work. So it will be red tape that pushes him to becoming a citizen. Very well, whatever it takes. We cannot have Crane wandering about alone so naturally Zoe Corinth from the Historical Society was there and she may not be able to fawn over him more than she already is. Over at Penetrode, a sweetly anxious dork tries to connect with the office hottie but just when he thinks she's actually speaking to him, it turned out she was on her Bluetooth and doesn't know him from Adam. Cue stalker growth in 3...2..1.... Relax hon, Pandora is here sporting an unfortunate Dora the Explorer bowl cut to show you a good time. And a knife which all the best-dressed office drones are sporting nowadays when listening to douchebags badmouthing your crush.

Nailed it.

So the lump of coal that Jenny traded for Joe Corbin's life was the Shard of Anubis and Jenny wants to bring him on board And put a trace on Randall's car. Okay but baby steps Jenny. And how are you doing, Agent Reynolds? Much better than the poor bastard downtown. Crane's there too because of course he is. The douchebag is dead in the elevator, stabbed but exsanguinated so naturally Crane has seen this before, in his youth and what we've come to know as Jack the Ripper.

When Crane was at Eton, his closest friend was attacked and left looking like Slo Mo from "Monster High" too. In order to keep his family name alive he was sent back to London which pleased him not at all. Once he learned about Whitechapel, he connected the dots. Through the power of the internet and microfiche. it became obvious that these attacks dated back to 1066 when William the Conqueror ruled England. Well, Ms Thang apparently has access to our earliest memories which is the complete opposite of reassuring. The question remains, what's her game? Is there any connection to the Shard of Anubis? Is Tom Mison's accent perfection? Ahem.

Jenny and Joe track Randall to a motel and promptly bust down the door to scare the bejesus out of a hitchhiker chick he picked up. Jenny's been on the right side of the law for too long as she just got played big time but not at bad as Randall who was tied up in the shower. And she got the shard. Dammit Randall! Back at Penetrode, Stabber McGee's creeping on the bereft lady. Dude, the sympathy angle only works if you actually talk to her. Men. Meanwhile, Abbie's using the awesome power of the FBI to reconstruct the murder weapon the Crane immediately identifies as a Byzantine dagger from circa 950 AD. It's a special knife where the wielder is wholly overcome by unquenchable blood lust which explains why there are no blood spatters. Creeper dude Nelson is freaking out in his car when Pandora appears in the backseat to let him know that the knife has now become part of him. Literally.


Right about now is when our local Fox affiliate played weird commercials over and over but apparently Reynolds asked Abbie out to dinner which she accepted. That keening sound you hear is the mourning of the Ichabble shippers around the world. Meanwhile, Crane discusses his pride and plans to become a citizen with Ms Zoe Corith and do we really need to dredge up what happened to Ms Caroline because this will not end well for Zoe I fear. Pandora is really selling Nelson Meyers on all the great things about becoming her assassin when Abbie and Crane arrive. He's 'armed' and dangerous so naturally Abbie shoots him and c'mon Mills; since when have regular bullets have any effect whatsover on anything supernatural?  Team Witness needs a little more firepower.

It's uncanny.
Jenny tracked the mystery girl and man, she's good. Rule number 1: don't sit at the counter. The other gal hid the shard in the battery compartment which naturally Jenny found as that's where August Corbin taught her to hide stuff. Jenny with the Pick-6. She won't divulge who she's working for and after a bit of posturing, Jenny and Joe leaves with the Shard firmly in hand. Researching the knife and Pandora, Abbie and Crane discover a pattern that the murders coincide with large numbers of deaths from disease. Every large scale plague has ended the knife's reign once it was used on a sick person. And with that, every anti-vaxxer everywhere found the justification they were looking for. Nelson's now targeting Emily, the girl he was stalking, so you can file this under Very Much Not Good. Crane has Officer Rueben pick her up to keep her safe but too late; Nelson's got to them. Armed with a revolver, a high powered rifle and two vials of tainted blood, Team Witness goes to do battle. Unfortunately, Nelson's upgrades also include some organic body armor so onto Plan B where Abbie runs Emily away and Crane goes hand to knife with Nelson. It's dark and there's lots of grunting and whirling and by the look on Crane's face, he got stabbed. But was it the knife or the tainted blood? Or both?

Crane's fading so naturally Pandora comes to Abbie to gloat. That feels...strange. The events of the night are completely unbeknownst to Jenny and Joe who are caught up in their own mystery surrounding rival treasure hunters and the Shard of Anubis. Abbie ends up taking a raincheck on dinner with Reynolds which we all applaud, mostly because he's her superior and that's just icky. Also, I want a bar like that in my office. Just saying.

Crane is recovering from his ordeal, having injected himself with malaria when stabbed with the knife. They're trying to figure out Pandora's game but are grateful they've found one another. I'd feel badly for you Abbie but nope. It's a wonderfully terrible problem to have. Pandora doesn't seem all that bummed out as she's got a new sewer rose blooming. Lordy, a psychiatrist would have a field day with that one.

Next week Crane is introduced to the wonders of modern dentistry and the insidious evil that are gummy bears. Plus demon tooth fairies. Join us on Thursday, October 22 for 'The Sisters Mills' at 9 p.m. ET, only on Fox.