'True Blood' Recap: 'Jesus Gonna Be Here'

Courtesy HBO

Talk about an action packed first two minutes! I launched right into the season seven premiere of "True Blood" without refreshing my memory of what happened in the season six finale. I regretted that, so I had to pause the episode and go back and read my recap from last season. Sam’s the new mayor, Bill is an author, Sam’s girlfriend is pregnant with his baby/puppy, and Alcide and Sookie are in a relationship. Check, check, check. The town is being overrun with vampires sick with the Hepatitis-V virus.

The hep-v ravaged vampires attack Bon Temps during the “Get a healthy vampire friend mixer,” kill Tara, and haul off Arlene, Holly, Nicole, and Kevin. In case you were wondering, Lettie Mae’s wig is still awful, and she’s pretty torn up about Tara being killed...again.

Back at Bellefleur’s (Merlotte’s renamed after Arlene took over), everyone is blaming Sookie, you know since she can hear their thoughts. She can’t take it any longer when she hears Alcide blaming her in his thoughts. Of course, she takes off on her own as she is prone to do. That tactic has always worked out wonderfully for her in the past. She stumbles over some dead chick, but just keeps walking. Dead people are a dime a dozen in Bon Temps. Once Alcide finally gets home, Sookie is already home hanging out in her robe. She tells Alcide that she read his mind and heard him blame her for everything. Come on! Give the dude a break. She eventually goes to bed and forgives Alcide where they engage in some sweet lovemaking.

Vince, whom Sam beat out for the mayoral race, confronts Sam about seeing him tear his clothes off and turn into a dog. Sam convinces Vince to let it go for now, but you can see Vince’s brain churning about outing Sam as a dog. Why does anything surprise these people in this town?

Pam! How I have missed thee! She is in Morocco looking for Eric. I assume that they would only give her information on Eric if she would play Russian Roulette with this dude that has survived 28 rounds. He doesn’t survive 29, and Pam gets the name and address of someone regarding information about Eric.

Jessica stands guard at the Bellefleur house for Adilyn (and Andy, you know since she killed his other three daughters). Adilyn tells Jessica that she has nightmares about the night that Jessica devoured her three sisters. Ehhh, enough about how Jessica killed your three sisters. Let’s talk about boys! Meanwhile since those two dumb turds left the window open, some hep-v vampire smells Adilyn’s fairy scent. Jessica persuades Adilyn to drink her blood so that she can always protect her and know where she is.

Jason and Violet go to check out some abandoned warehouses where the hep-V vampires are allegedly hanging out. Vince and some pals also show up to check things out. Violet threatens them to leave which leaves Jason flustered because she’s more manly and scary than him. Later he confronts Violet about it and demands that they consummate their relationship. Apparently this whole time she’s been waiting for him to be more forceful with her because this time she immediately complies...on the top of the cop car.

James, Jessica’s boyfriend who went through one helluva casting change, accompanies Lafayette home. Honestly, I had no idea who he was supposed to be until Lafayette asked him if he was Jessica’s boyfriend. This dude doesn’t look anything like old James. New James looks like a combination of Bam Margera and Robert Pattinson...or something like that. Anywhoo, new James and Lafayette bond about death over a bong. Lafayette tells James that he grieved the first time that Tara died, but he feels nothing this time. James tells Lafayette that he was almost beaten to death by a deceased friend’s father. He would have truly died if he hadn’t been turned into a vampire.

Willa goes home with Lettie Mae and the Reverend. Lettie Mae’s junky self is pretty high on Willa’s blood and is convinced that Tara is talking to her. The Rev tells Willa not to ever give Lettie Mae any blood because she’s got some issues. Willa tells him that she has nowhere to go now that Tara is dead and Eric and Pam aren’t around. The Rev leads her to the church basement where he tells her she can stay.

Pam ends up at another location and leaves the man with the information some money. He offers his daughter’s blood to her, but she declines, only wanting to find Eric. She can’t believe that he would end up wherever the map indicates. The place, I am not sure of. I guess we will find out.

Bill and Andy end up at an old warehouse location where they find that some infected vampires have been nesting. They find a bunch of corpses hanging upside down which makes Andy vomit. Vince and his gang of vigilantes end up at the same warehouse as Bill and Andy. Vince threatens to kill Bill, but Andy persuades Vince to give him the gun so that he can settle the score with Bill. Instead of shooting Bill, he turns the gun on the vigilantes. On the way home, Andy tells Bill that he only saved him because he needs him getting Arlene and Holly back and that he’ll never forgive him for what Bill for what he did to his family. Flashback to Bill saying goodbye to his own family during the war.

We find out that Holly, Arlene, Nicole, and Kevin are being held in the basement of Fangtasia all the way in Shreveport. Arlene is panicking about her kids, Nicole worries that her baby isn’t moving, and Kevin panics that 1/5 of the Bon Temps police force is missing. Holly manages to keep everyone calm until the skeevy infected vampire comes down to pick out his next victim. He sniffs at Arlene, but continues on to pick out Kevin. RIP, Kevin.

Jessica and the infected vampire continue to have a standoff in front of Adilyn’s house. Adilyn invites Jessica in because dawn is coming and both vampires are beginning to smoke. Jessica refuses to go inside until Adilyn walks out onto the porch. She swoops Adilyn up and takes her inside as the infected vampire catches on fire outside.

The next morning all of Bon Temps is gathered at the church. Sookie places her hand on Lettie Mae’s shoulder when Lettie Mae snaps and blames Tara’s death on Sookie. Sookie begins to hear everyone’s thoughts about her, so she gets up to walk out. At the last minute she tells everyone that she can hear them and at least Lettie Mae has the decency to tell her to her face. She finally offers to the townspeople to help them since she feels like she is partially to blame.

Smaller Bites:
-What sort of reasoning skills do the infected vampires have? I don’t understand why they would chain up the humans and wait to feed on them. Furthermore, what’s the lifespan of an infected vampire?
-What will happen to Willa now that she doesn’t have Tara, Pam, or Eric?
-Speaking of Eric, I don’t think that he burned up like we were lead to believe. How long is it going to take Pam to find him?
-I think this season is shaping up to be more interesting than last season. Enjoy it while you can, guys, because this is the last season of "True Blood" ever.

Here's a look at next Sunday's episode, "I Found You."