Fresh Vamp Read by Ryan Mecum

The predator lurks
Fangs inches from supple flesh
But first? A haiku

— amy kates

ps: there's a zombie one, too.
pss: any words under my byline so do not count toward 5/7/5.

The Paranormal Pop Culture Show

So I like to provide readers with ample opportunity to mock and ridicule me, which is why this is for you, really. As you may remember, several weeks back we discussed the new Paranormal TV Network. Well, we here at ParanormalPopCulture.com are enjoying what they're doing so much that we wanted to add our flavor to the channel.

Check it out: The Paranormal Pop Culture Show.

-aaron sagers

Clash of the para pop culture titans

Oh, dear me. And dear you, most likely, as I’m willing to bet you’ll face the same dilemma I have once I spill the news that Sept. 13 at 9 p.m. is becoming even more of a paranormal pop culture conundrum.

You already know True Blood signs off the airwaves that night at 9. You also know, thanks to moi, that a pretty awesome docu about a girl who cries blood will be running on Nat Geo at the same time. But hold on, parapoppers, because the Holy Trinity of Paranormal is now complete, thanks to MTV’s news that it will premiere a brand spankin’ new extended trailer of New Moon at the 2009 VMA awards going down that night.

I’m thinking this is not the kind of trailer you can Google and enjoy in the privacy of your own home — it’s probably under better lock and key than Robert Pattinson’s home phone number. So what to do? I have a DVR, but not even that glorious miracle of man is equipped to handle three para pop culture events simultaneously. But If I know MTV (and the Twilight kids’ maddening too-cool-for-school mentality), the trailer will kick off around 10:40 p.m. in an effort to reel viewers in until the bitter end. (READ: In order to get to the promised land, you might have to sit through Taylor Swift.) But boy. What a night, eh? I was one of the fervid fans who sat with bated breath on the night of the '08 VMAs, just itchin' for a view of New Moon. Damn you, MTV, but count me in again. Your devious plots know no bounds.

— amy kates

I will not make a blood pun, just this once.

Is it paranormal? Is it pop culture? I really struggled with whether or not to post this for two reasons: 1) There are no ghosts or zombies or vampires in the mix; rather, just a very abnormal human being, 2) I don’t intend to make light of what is a super serious situation for a young girl.

But for people like me who have a serious jones for things that just don’t seem to have any kind of rational explanation, this is must-see TV. On Sept. 13, National Geographic presents The Girl Who Cries Blood at 9 p.m. (I would fail at my job as a parapop artist if I didn't point out that for perhaps the first time in television history, if you wanted, you could catch not one but two separate occurrences of females who cry blood — The Girl butts timeslot heads with True Blood. And judging from Jessica’s fight with Hoyt last week, she will be crying a river o’ blood in the finale).

Check the teaser out below — it’s legit. So what's the story? Is it stigmata? Is it a demonic possession? Is the girl blessed? Modern medicine seems to be stumped, as well as religious pundits the world over. What happens when we apply "paranormal" to bona-fide muggles? That might be the scariest question of all. Tune in and draw your own conclusions.

— amy kates

'Ghost Hunters' the movie? Not quite, but close

By now, we all know conventions of the ghost hunting paranormal investigator shows. We understand the what the K-II and thermal cameras are for, and most of us can define EVPs, debunk orbs and predict that a lot of ghostly activity in people's homes can be attributed to electrical and plumbing issues.

Although I still love watching them, the reality-TV paranormal shows follow a certain formula - largely attributable to Ghost Hunters on Syfy - much like Survivor, Top Chef and America's Next Top Model does. That formula allows us to anticipate and follow along, and it even spoon feeds us the suspense in the exact right moments.

Now, those formulas have influenced the movies. As far as I know, the indie flick Ghosts Don't Exist, produced by Washington Redskins tight end Chris Cooley, is the first fictional entry of paranormal pop culture to play directly off of those conventions. And honestly, there hasn't been a ton of great ghost movies lately, so maybe this modern pop-savvy approach is the way to go.

The movie doesn't have much in the way of famous faces, but the new trailer looks good. I'm intrigued. The synopsis from the films site is as follows:

A popular ghost hunter losing faith in what he believes is about to retire, but decides to take one last case when a potential client guarantees he’ll provide the proof he’s been looking for.

Upon arriving at the home, the client announces that he will make good on the promise by contacting the team himself, from the beyond.

We'll keep track of this one and let you know as we learn about release dates and such. The trailer is below.

-aaron sagers

Zombies vs. Werewolves: Which side are you on?

Writer Angela Hill of the Oakland Tribune is not feeling the Zombie Love. In a lively column about the walking dead, Hill encourages zombies to finally croak and make room for the lycanthropes.

Yes, the debate over zombies vs. werewolves has begun, and Hill is an impassioned supporter of the latter. Skipping right over the vamp train and into the next genre trend, Hill writes, "Seriously, for all your drool and drama ... You all look alike, you're uncoordinated, you have a limited vocabulary, you're single-minded ... And don't even get me started on your highly questionable personal hygiene."

Wow. She's going to get letters from the NAAZP for that one.

Still, other than noting their "outdoorsy appeal," Hill doesn't seem to be pro-werewolf as much as she is anti-zombie.

I don't personally know where I fit in this debate, and am still waiting to hear each camp's solution to healthcare, but zombie lovers out there better make themselves known or they might lose the message battle.

-aaron sagers

Re-enter The Sandman: Neil Gaiman talks more about vampires

Neil Gaiman is one of those guys in paranormal pop culture that just seem to get it. Like Stephen King, Gaiman is a genius who possesses a knack for creating fully-realized worlds, and his work reflects an influence and old-school appreciation of fantasy, sci-fi and horror without being derivative.

Obviously, I'm a fan. That's why it was interesting to hear his take on the current vampire trend in July's Entertainment Weekly, where he said the bloodsuckers had reached a saturation point. Well, apparently I wasn't the only one who liked The Sandman creator's thoughts on the genre, because EW went back for more (technically it seems they just expanded the previous interview, but it's more to me).

Check it out.

-aaron sagers